felling empty

[tiyceman]

hi my brother and his wife have had his first child and of course im happy for them but I cant help feel empty like I need some thing else in my life but my family have told me that they would not support me if I decide to have child and that its wrong but this feeling of emptiness is realy upsetting can you give me some advice

[Episcopalian94]

Are you in school mate? Are you financially fit for raising a youngster? Are you ready to be kept up at all hours of the night trying to calm the baby down? Even though they're precious, babies are lots of work and no sleep.

Your emotional "enlightenment" was overwhelming after your brother had that child, and you want that feeling to come back. After expressing that you want a kid to your parents (assuming your parents already know you're gay), they shot down your dream. You're feeling down because of this.

I know it's hard, but you gotta get your life in order before you consider having a child. You need a stable relationship with a guy first, then you need to make sure he is fit for raising your kids, then you two can get a steady career and house, and finally make the commitment to having a kid.

I have a God-Daughter. Perhaps you could best friend someone who is pregnant or has a kid, and be a part of that child's life. My God-Daughter doesn't have a father (he's a POS who won't acknowledge her), so I've been trying to be fatherly to her since she was born, and let me tell you I never learned to stop gagging after crappy diapers! Every time she comes over, I don't sleep good.

So lets start by looking for the sexy guy who will be fatherly to your children.

Cheers,

[Eth21]

First of all welcome to GS do stick around!
Well it is normal to feel like that I guess, I know (thanks to pressure from certain family members) that I wanted to have a kid but realised that I was to young and still am now to be having kids not to mention totally wrong place in life.
Your still very young and got a lot to experience in life so try not to worry about it (I know easier said than done) and live life to the full!!!

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Great one more hungry mouth in an overcrowded world...

Cynical? Not really, 7.2+ billion people on this planet, millions starving to death billions in abject poverty....

I see pictures like these: https://www.google.com/search?q=abject+p...23&bih=709 and I am forever grateful I am a gay man born with a little advantage to not (accidentally or otherwise) bring one more burdensome being to a world where people live like what we see in those images.

To be quite blunt, there are billions of starving children who need to be adopted and taken home and fed, clothed, raised to be whatever they can be. Your not having a child is not a bad thing, it is a good thing - a very, very, very good thing since they are predicting a population of 10 billion by 2050.

[Episcopalian94]

Great one more hungry mouth in an overcrowded world...

Cynical? Not really, 7.2+ billion people on this planet, millions starving to death billions in abject poverty....

I see pictures like these: and I am forever grateful I am a gay man born with a little advantage to not (accidentally or otherwise) bring one more burdensome being to a world where people live like what we see in those images.

To be quite blunt, there are billions of starving children who need to be adopted and taken home and fed, clothed, raised to be whatever they can be. Your not having a child is not a bad thing, it is a good thing - a very, very, very good thing since they are predicting a population of 10 billion by 2050.

I think homosexuality is a part of Darwin's Law of Natural Selection.

There are a bunch of kids in orphanages that heterosexuals create and since homos can't reproduce, they have to adopt those lonely kids.

[southbiochem]

Being 19 is hardly the age for concerning like that about prospects of family yet...

You have plenty of time to find a partner, develop a relationship, enjoy life and then form a family..

once you are able to sustain a child on your own, what you parents, think, say or do is irrelevant..

[hank]

hi my brother and his wife have had his first child and of course im happy for them but I cant help feel empty like I need some thing else in my life but my family have told me that they would not support me if I decide to have child and that its wrong but this feeling of emptiness is realy upsetting can you give me some advice

Hey friend, welcome to gay speak.

I know the feeling. From a very early age all I ever wanted to be was a father and the prospect of not having a child did upset me deeply to the point I tried to be straight. Dated women and even tried to convince myself that I could live that way denying who I really was.

Here is the reality that I really had to convince myself of. I could get with a woman that doesn't want or can't have kids. I may not be able to have kids myself. I may meet a fellow that has a kid, I may meet a guy that wants a kid. The possibilities are endless. I may never have a child. There are no guarantees in life. But there is hope. I never thought I could come out to mom and dad, they are very Christian and very conservative. It was hard at first but it's getting better. If they don't approve it's okay because I am a man and do not require their approval.

You aren't guaranteed tomorrow and let's say in twenty years, heaven forbid, you fall victim to some catastrophe that leaves you on your death bed. Which would be a bigger regret never having embarked on one of life's great adventures, or having forced your parents to accept something?

Live for you. It's great to wish to impress your parents it likely means that there is a string loving bond there. But they don't always know best part of growing up is learning what is best for you.

Right now, get as close as you can to your niece/nephew it may not be your child but he is your flesh and blood. Change some diapers, watch him over two nights let your brother and sister in law go on a little trip. That will knock that glitter right out of your eyes. If you still want it, make sure you find a partner that wants the same thing and it will be your decision.

But you are far far too young to give up hope. Without hope we have nothing. I am not a father, I am ten years older than you but I may be one day, and if I never get to be it's okay too. I touched my nephew's life. There is so much to life. Hope opens so many doors, don't be afraid to peek through them.