How do you know?

[FrozenYoghurt]

I'm struggling with gender. I don't know what I am -and I don't think it's particularly important in general to have a label- but... I don't like being confused. I think if there wasn't so much stigma attached to the trans* community, I'd be living as a male and completely proud of it.

How do you overcome the stigma? How can you be 'sure'?

[Woollyhats]

I'm not sure how you know.

Personally, there was never a glowing revelation from the gender fairy that I was male. I never woke up and was like, "I AM SUCH A MALE NOT A FEMALE NOPE TOTALLY A MALE.".

It's more, "Oh look. I have a penis. That's cool.".

I think you know you're another gender if it's more like, "I have a penis, it should not be there, I should be a female, I hate this body, I am stuck in it, this is a problem, and I'm going to fix it.".

Transgender individuals often describe the feeling of 'being trapped in another person's body". I suspect that this strong reaction is how you would know.

[James]

Label's are for cans of food, Don't label yourself, as far as the "trans" community, never had a problem with it. Be who you feel you are, live your life as what makes you happy, James

[driftwood]

During the nineties - I was with my second wife at the time - I was very interested in getting in touch with my feminine side. My wife was supportive. I explored the subject on the internet, and eventually I came across a site that gave quite a few particulars about transitioning. She was very complete, even down to what she did about her voice. As I read more and more, I became entranced. It sounded like a dream come true. Until a sudden thought intruded. I would no longer have a penis, or if I did, it would no longer be able to give me the delight it had been dutifully giving me for many years. That's when I knew without a doubt, I was born male, I was meant to be male, I was male, and that's how I wanted it to stay. Who I chose as sexual partners had nothing to do with my sexual identity. That, if nothing else, was cast in concrete.

I don't know what any of this has to do with your situation. But then you haven't given us much background. How about bringing us up to speed on things like your gender at birth, the gender you identify with, and more specifics about why this could be problematic.

[Rainbowmum]

All you can do is be true to yourself , it's your life an you should live it any way you like.
Labels are so suffocating and James is right they are for foods.

[FrozenYoghurt]

I think it's more a case of knowing I am biologically female, but identify more as male and would live as a male if it weren't for the fear of rejection, social isolation etc? [and there's certain...assets that would make it hard to pass as male anyway ]

[dfiant1]

While we can offer some great advice and some awesome support, and will always be here for support, there are somethings that need to be dealt with professionally.

I think you need to have a chat with someone who specialises in Gender Identity and Gender Dysphoria issues. It is not a weakness to seek this help as you have come to us with the same question, but you will get more appropriate answers from a professional and then come back to us to share your story and seek our support

Good luck

[James]

At the risk of being rude. medical science has come a long way, the first sex change operation was in the 1930's as I remember, 1n 1949 the tem transgender was first used, remember that cause year of my birth, this year first successful penis transplant in china, and growing a penis from cells of the recipient, even though a rabbit, and in a penis shaped dish,was successful and when transplanted, operational as in had babies, so you never know what is ahead for the transgender folk.

[Rosethorn999]

Sweetie, im trans and can help if you want me to. Just PM me with any questions. No matter what youre awesome <3

[findingmyway]

Just from what I have heard, and know personally, living your life as others want you to live it is much more painful than any social stigma. Or, to put a positive spin on that, the joy of living life as you are meant to live it greatly overrides any of the pain from social stigmas. Good luck.