How to be open to change

[Bluelight]

They say that you can't go about life expecting change by mere desire, but rather by being open to it. Okay, fair enough, I can be open to what I want in life, but I'm not sure if it counts if I'm still acting upon what I consciously want to change. I don't try too hard, so I guess I have that going for me, but am I going about this right? Maybe I'm just over-thinking everything, there seems to be a very fine line between openness and desire; in my opinion, it seems practically impossible to be open without desire.

Sorry if this got really philosophical, or if this really doesn't make that much sense, I just had to get this off my mind.

[southbiochem]

Obviously is very difficult to be open when there's nothing that appeals you.

But they key is to act as you would when going into the ocean.

If you fight he waves they will crush you. Let them hit you, but go on and don't fight them.

don't foght change, cause change will come no matter what. Makes the most of it.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Depends on the change actually.

If this is something important like cleaning up/getting sober - sure change can be beneficial. If on the other hand you are an introvert and being pressured by a sick society that thinks everyone should be an extrovert to the point where you are willing to do anything to be an extrovert, that won't end well and is a bad sort of change.

I fear that most people who are 'open' to change are actually eyeballing the grass on the other side of the fencing thinking that if they could just get over there they would enjoy better grass. Reality is that most people who do hop the fence discover that all of that green is actually stinging nettle and the ground beneath is swarming with fire ants.

Sure there are things we should work for, setting real life goals and planning for the future, however that needs to be decidedly balanced with a huge heap of acceptance and contentment with what one has now, in the here and present.

Change happens over time, I won't kid you about that. Things like your favorite Burger King will be switched over to a Starbucks (and you absolutely, positively loath Starbucks, the devil comes in venti-vendi-cappachinos). This is usually the type of change you hate.

What can one do? Set fire to the new Starbucks, or send letters demanding a New Burger King to be open on the same block on pain of blowing up BK's headquarters in Miami Florida? That is bound to lead to a lot of change in one's life, however methinks that prison or a mental health hospital is not exactly the type of change most people welcome.... :tongue:

Then you will meet new people who will teach you new things - I bet the majority of your 'sayings' you stole from people you met long ago and you thought were cool when they said it, so you stole those sayings and made them yours. That is an ongoing process. This sort of change is bound to happen - unless you move off to a desert island in the middle of the Pacific...

Change can be applied to a great number of things... So its not so much being open to any change, but being able to accept some change and know which change you really need to bring about. Say laying off the crack pipe, except for weekends... Baby steps... :tongue:

In AA/NA there is this phrase 'Character Defects' Its a bit more complex than that minor short list... However there are defects of character that people really should choose to keep. Yeah sure, these are defects, but one is by and large who and what they are by their positives as they are by their defects of character....

Change everything out and are you still you or are you someone else?

People just don't understand that the true key to real happiness is not in changing your life to be something you ain't but to find contentment with who and what you are. Contentment in how much you don't make, contentment in the little stuff you got...

Somewhere along the line society got this wild hair up its arse that change is good that that more is better, and everyone is on this crazed journey of constantly changing and no one is content with what they have, no one is content with Now.

I fear that most people who are driven to desire change are having it forced on them by a sick, totally whacked out society that is rotten at the seams and falling apart. We live in crazy times and people have gotten a lot of silly notions about where to find 'happyness' when they should be seeking contentment.