I want to convince him to mutual jerk of with me again.

[KostasKar]

Hello . I had this friend and we used to jerk off each other every time we met . That happened for 4 years . But I had to leave the town for business issues . Now every time I see him he doesn't talk about sex . He is "straight " ( I would say bi ) . I tried many times to relive our old moments but he seems so distant . Last time we met we only watched some porn . I asked him to to mutual master bate and he said no. I am seeing him again in some days . What should I do ? I know he wants to do it but he is afraid of something .. Thank you

[dfiant1]

No means no, and pressuring someone into doing something, especially something sexual, when they say no is bloody disrespectful because you are only thinking of your own feelings and gratification.

Sounbds like he has grown up and you are still a little boy.

Just saying.

[partis]

At the age of 33 dont you want more than sitting on the couch and jerking off your mate, oh i dont know, maybe something like love.

[Woollyhats]

He is definitely bi, but perhaps only interested in a heteosexual relationship.

It's been many years, and perhaps his views have changed on what he wants in life. It is very possible that mutual masturbation is not fulfilling to him any more, and so not what he wants. Possibly he is interested in relationships, wants a commitment, or even only wants to date women. He may even have feelings for you, and not want to put himself into a superficial relationship that's only going to hurt him. I really can't know.

He's basically said no, or at least strongly implied it, which is often the same thing. Sometimes people say what they mean and mean what they say; and what he meant I think is no.

[southbiochem]

Well if he's straight he'll be afraid to do a "gay thing" obviously.

If he's actually bi or something else, he will have trouble admiting it.

Either way, please respect his wishes. He is not some toy you get to play with everytime you want.

He is a person and whatever the reason, you can't push him into doing something he doesn't want.

If you notice he's having troubles about something, how about exercising the "friendship" part of this relationship and see what can you do to help him, Hear him out, spend quality time with him.

[driftwood]

Now every time I see him he doesn't talk about sex . He is "straight " ( I would say bi ) ... I asked him to to mutual master bate and he said no...
he is afraid of something ...

Maybe what he is afraid of is you. You want to talk him into a hookup. No matter how you frame it, that's what it is. As someone pointed out, "No" means NO. If you do succeed in talking him into it at this point, it could be construed as rape.

He says he is straight. You say he is bi. It doesn't matter which. We bi's have the option of living straight if we choose. I did so for many years and I'm doing so again now (although that is subject to change at any time). He's looking for a committed relationship with a woman. The only thing you have to offer him is friendship.

[CellarDweller]

I agree with 'no means no'.......pressuring him isn't going to get you anywhere, and it's creepy.