Judgmental straight people

[Arkansota]

I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 62

I love him and our relationship is healthy and equal

I have had only 1 straight person not judge the relationship.

The worst was when some cunt told me to my face that the relationship is "disgusting". Like, who does that?

Is this something that I can learn to live with or should I just not tell anyone?

[Woollyhats]

You only ever have to tell people that you feel need to know. Your boyfriend is very old and that will pose some problems in your future --- I say this without judgement, as your relationship and the solutions if and when you find them are your own, your own choices, your own business, and that is to be respected.

However, you will get opinions when you ask for them. So do not be upset when people simply offer you advice.

This all said; being called disgusting, and unwarrented criticism and judgement that just won't stop is unnecessary and should not exist or be tolerated.

As much as your relationship is unusual --- ultimately the choice to have it is yours. That is to be respected.

As always, please be careful, realize you don't need to tell everyone, and think about your relationship carefully. Your life decisions are your own; and your friends must realize this, for better or for worse.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

While Im all for the "age is just a number" approach to relationships (and Im 10 years older then my partner) 43 is a big number no matter what way you like to look at it.

People who don't know you will assume he's either your grandfather or your dad. Thats just a fact, whether you choose to like that or not is entirely down to you.

As Wooly mentions, there are practical issues to such an age difference that will become apparent as you both grow older, but thats a different question for another time.

The question you posted is:

Is this something that I can learn to live with or should I just not tell anyone?

And my answer is that your going to have to live with it and accept that people will look twice, and some may even choose to judge both of you because of it. If you choose to show any form of affection for each other in public, such as walking hand in hand, then people will point and look and say things.

BTW, the most judgemental people Ive ever come across, are other gay people!

Its more human nature than anything malicious, so you should learn to just let their opinions bounce off you.

If your reaction to what people think is like this

The worst was when some cunt told me to my face that the relationship is "disgusting".

then I fear the worst...

ObW
X

[Evan88]

I agree, you have to live with it...

The reality is, we are in a world where there is a norm...like an unwritten rule where we are expected to behave in certain ways.

You just have to accept it, that people would react that way...

If you choose to dont tell it to anyone, again its your choice

Whatever would make you happy and comfortable

[southbiochem]

there's 2 things people will judge about this, Arkansota,

1.- you're in a gay relationship

2.- there's a biiiig age difference.

you will have to endure it and trust that no one has a power to disrupt what you have with this guy

[Bowyn Aerrow]

And what makes you think its only the straight people who judge you?

Like it or not, humans are just not well designed for Grandpa and Great, Great grandchildren to be lovers. It flies in the face of a very real natural order which is all set and determined by the drive to survive - not as an individual, but as a species.

The whole species is driven by its genetic material, and DNA insists that we pair off with mates who are close to our age so we can procreate and insure the survival of the DNA.

Just because nature hiccups about which gender we are sexually attracted, sex is all about procreation, and everything it does is a consequence of our Darwinian drive to insure the survival of the DNA. Sure, gay men can try all they want and not end up with offspring, but the emotional drives, the ties that bind, all of the stuff that sex is is all about the survival of the DNA.

Not only does your relationship fly in the face of the bi-gendered mating thing, it now also flies in the face of fitness and ability to procreate and insure the survival of that union.

The 'ew factor' of older women dating younger men also flies in in the face of survival of the DNA. Women's ability to procreate has a shelf life, men don't. Please to note when its the other way around its more acceptable, simply because men don't have procreation shelf lives - in theory they can produce offspring until they are 149....

You are facing a rough road ahead because people are driven by their instincts, few actually utilize that front portion of the brain when making judgement calls, they are allowing the animal hind brain which is hard wired with lots of evolutionary survival traits to 'decide' your 'fitness' and over all niche in the scheme of things.

Get used to being hated for strange reasons. Its going to happen as long as you insist on breaking Darwin's Nose by punching Darwinian Evolution repeatedly in the face.

Keep in mind, humans are animals capable of reasoning this is not the same thing as being reasoning animals...

[austin]

Thats a big age difference for real. In any relationship.

You will get those remarks alot , but as long as your happy then thats all that matters.

Its just most people put a age limit on a relationship, for me i would want to have a partner who has my same interest . So i couldnt do double my age.

Hope you are happy , and if you love him then let the rest of the world know it. Be proud of it and let those judging you cram the jealousy up their ass.

[Tyrion]

I think everything has been said already -- but just to add my two cents, I'll say that it's not just straight people who would probably judge your relationship. Granted, it's none of anyone's business, and if you're both happy, that's awesome.. but everyone can be judgmental at times, whether they try to be completely open-minded or not. In all honesty, I immediately thought the age difference was a bit out there. That's not to say there's anything wrong with it.. there isn't.. but still, it's just one of those things that people are probably going to raise an eyebrow over.

I think it's just one of those things you'll have to learn to live with, unfortunately.

[Arkansota]

And what makes you think its only the straight people who judge you?

Like it or not, humans are just not well designed for Grandpa and Great, Great grandchildren to be lovers. It flies in the face of a very real natural order which is all set and determined by the drive to survive - not as an individual, but as a species.

The whole species is driven by its genetic material, and DNA insists that we pair off with mates who are close to our age so we can procreate and insure the survival of the DNA.

Just because nature hiccups about which gender we are sexually attracted, sex is all about procreation, and everything it does is a consequence of our Darwinian drive to insure the survival of the DNA. Sure, gay men can try all they want and not end up with offspring, but the emotional drives, the ties that bind, all of the stuff that sex is is all about the survival of the DNA.

Not only does your relationship fly in the face of the bi-gendered mating thing, it now also flies in the face of fitness and ability to procreate and insure the survival of that union.

The 'ew factor' of older women dating younger men also flies in in the face of survival of the DNA. Women's ability to procreate has a shelf life, men don't. Please to note when its the other way around its more acceptable, simply because men don't have procreation shelf lives - in theory they can produce offspring until they are 149....

You are facing a rough road ahead because people are driven by their instincts, few actually utilize that front portion of the brain when making judgement calls, they are allowing the animal hind brain which is hard wired with lots of evolutionary survival traits to 'decide' your 'fitness' and over all niche in the scheme of things.

Get used to being hated for strange reasons. Its going to happen as long as you insist on breaking Darwin's Nose by punching Darwinian Evolution repeatedly in the face.

Keep in mind, humans are animals capable of reasoning this is not the same thing as being reasoning animals...

My grandparents were in their 70's when I was born so he couldnt be my grandpa PPP

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Alrighty then....