Thanks everyone

[Drkmcnamara]

Now I have a serious question to ask you. And I ask this because I know how this sort of thing goes (remember I've been there).

You stopped talking about suicide, does this mean you stopped thinking about it as an option?

It always seems like an option for me now since being worse would mean me being homeless and broke. If that ever does happen I know I would not be able to survive out there. I don't wanna think about this right now cuz it is making me crazy and I am under the increasing feeling that I will soon have no choice but to end my life.

[Drkmcnamara]

I am so afraid that I am going to have to die way sooner than I want to

[Drkmcnamara]

This clearly has not been a good day for me I wish I could be a better person and I was trying so hard and now my biggest worry is that usually I would pick up and carry on but now when I try to do that it is like my mind yells at me to stop and paralyzes me with all of these thoughts. I need lots of professional help way more than I am getting right now