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Kenny221 · 03-02-2014, 11:37 AM

Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:What attracted me to him? his apparent wisdom. His ability to explain the world to me in ways no one else had. Oh and he was hot. The first time he looked at me and smiled my heart nearly exploded from my chest - OMG he just oozed testosterone from every pore....

And then there was warm feeling of real safety when I was around him. Understand that real safety with him was 'unpredictable' at best. but he felt safe - very safe.

I agree with this explanation so much.... these were the reasons why i had a big crush on my high school automotive teacher.

Watching him fix cars from a distance. To just listen to him about how he thinks about life, and the experiences he went through. I was swooned without having him say a word.

03-02-2014, 03:05 PM

Ok, I'm going to start with a few appreciations on the subject.

You seem to be keen on the idea you're too old for any younger guy to like you, and clearly you are wrong, cause you have one liking you right now. You have a rather mistaken predisposition towards the age difference and why it may be a reason not to date someone.

Also, 36 to 18 is not really THAT big of a difference. He is of legal age, no problem there, if you were indeed his father wouldn't you have had him when you were 18?

What suprised me the most about this guy is he said guys his age are all sex-crazed. If he's not that means this guy is very mature for his age. It's really HARD to find a guy in the "gay world" that's not sex-crazed let alone when he's 18..

If there's at least a part of you interested in him, I don't see why you shouldn't try.

Now, all that said.

If you really, as a personal choice, don't like to get involved with guys his age (which is fine, you're entitled to your own choices of whom to date), then you need to sit him down and make it clear it's not going to happen.

Tell him how you appreciate his interest and his orientation towards more serious things instead of just sex, but that you just don't see fit to date guys his age and he needs to respect that.

Make it loud and clear, be harsh and to the point. Sure it's going to upset him but it's best if you do it soon before he gets even more attracted to you

03-02-2014, 05:30 PM

I have always liked older men, every since I was little. I remember my first "crush" was on a guy who lived down the street. He was nice, and lived alone, worked at the local movie theater. I would go to talk to him when I saw him working in his front yard.

I think I was about 3 or 4 years old.

When I got older:
I've always liked older guys/men, but they never liked me.
Was lucky to find anyone who was interested in me at all.

Now that I am "the older guy", I tend to like some older men still, but usually my own age now.
I do like guys 35+ also.

It depends on the guy usually. I don't put too much into "age", because I've seen 50 years olds who act like 10 year olds, and I've seen 18 year olds who act like they are 50.

You just have to base things on a person to person basis. If he is too immature for you, I can understand that, but just basing him on his age....well, you are just cutting yourself off from that many more possibilities.

03-02-2014, 07:20 PM

What is important here is that you feel the age difference is a major factor so therefore be honest and tell him.

If you are open to friendship then you could tell him that but I am afraid keeping silent and saying nothing is only leading him on and giving him false hope.

Kenny221 · 03-02-2014, 07:42 PM

Oh , and I just wanna point out that the age difference thing isn't that uncommon in the 'gay-world' either Tongue

Anonymous · 03-02-2014, 08:47 PM

Well, when I was 18, I definitely wasn't interested in men almost 20 years older than me. I was attracted to guys of my own age. I know he's of legal age, but I see him more as a child than adult. I would feel like a pedophile if I did something to him.

Also I don't want to get my heart broken as well. I'll never believe that guys in their teens are able to love for real. They take infatuation for love and this "love" lasts until they see someone who's more attractive than you are. Maybe he's just looking for some experience, maybe material sponsor. I don't want to experience a situation when after a while he has had his fun and will be like "bye, dude, I don't need you anymore". That's why I only date grown men because usually take relationship seriously and don't toy with your feelings.

Also I wouldn't call myself desirable, I'm just a usual man, definitely not a top model.

03-02-2014, 08:53 PM

Well, if you feel he is not mature enough, then there is not anything that can be done.

All you can do is keep explaining it to him and refusing his advances. As stated previously, he will catch on one day.

Kenny221 · 03-02-2014, 09:04 PM

The real question is that are you interested? If not then the only thing you can actually do is just get to the point with him. The longer you stall breaking his heart, the more it'll hurt for him later.

Anonymous · 03-02-2014, 09:10 PM

I cannot deny than he's handsome, he's really attractive guy. But he's way too young and I just would like him to understand it. He says age is not an issue for him, but it is an issue for me and I just want him to stop paying attention to me. It'll be better for him himself in the first place.

Kenny221 · 03-02-2014, 10:15 PM

Well, I think you should point out other things of why it wouldn't work other then age. Prehaps that will convince him otherwise. Because clearly, he feels like age is just a number and that the age thing is the only thing that's standing between you two. I have to admit that even though I do prefer older guys, that it's almost impossible to make it work. There's too many differences in social circles( how awkward would it be if your co-worker's son/daughter is the same age as your boyfriend? or just a few years older? ) , work environments and etc. The fact that you two are also going through very different phases of your lives right now. So I can definitely understand why you're concern and unwilling.

Maybe you should explain to him the concerns of the age-difference etc etc.