Political humour to offend EVERYONE

[hank]

Catholic.
You have two cows and you should be ashamed of yourself say ten rosarys and have stake dinneron any day but Friday during lent.

Klingon

You want two cows so you kill humansand take them.

Jedi

These are not your cows.

[MisterTinkles]

Washington DC


You buy two cows.

The government enacts new tax laws for owners of two cows or less, which causes you to have to owe money at the end of the year instead of get a refund.
The government also levies fines against you for not claiming said cows on previous tax returns, thus confiscating your assets and securities until the fines owed are paid in full.
The government also enacts new animal safety regulations for the care and shelter of said cows, which cost you $45,699.00 in upgrades to your property.
You cannot afford to live in your house, since you have had to give it to the government to help pay off what you owe.
You and your cows are now homeless.
You and your cows sign up for food and shelter at the local homeless organizations, but they are so flooded with previous claimants that have been made homeless because of these new laws, they have no more money to help anyone with.
You sell your cows to the slaughterhouse for money, but you don't get much, since you have not been able to take care of the cows properly, and they have gotten sickly and lost weight being homeless and not having anything to eat for so long.
You try to start over with the little bit of money you got from selling your cows, but the government sniffs you out and takes that money too.
You are left with nothing at all, and die on the street, where nobody even see's you....because once you became homeless, you became nothing to anyone....so nobody notices you for weeks, until your rotting body starts to stink.
The police are notified and the city cleaning crews come take your remains away in a garbage bag.
You are buried in an unmarked grave in the middle of nowhere.

And all because you wanted a couple of cows.

Stupid human, you should have gotten a cat.