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The trials of Trial. Trial number 69, Why I'll never enter heaven
#1
Sigh.....

<shakes head slowly, contemplatively>

What, oh what, oh what, to do....

<shakes head again>

So here's the thing. As some of you good folk may remember, I once sent out, here on GS, a plea for advice.

See, at the farm, (which is a gay, bush-veldt, clothing optional, retreat at which I have a permanent holiday cottage,) there is this one dude who is a regular day / weekend visitor who visits from time to time, as and when he has finances and a lift, (If you kinda get my drift), allow.

Ohhhhhhh my gosh! 20 something, 5'8" - 5'10" slim, with a round cherubic face, black hair, green eyes, gorgeous lips, and a oh-so-slim almost hairless torso, a gentle little garden path almost nudging his navel, sporting a round, firm bubble-butt and definitely a bottom....

Thing is, he has the entire Lord's Prayer tattooed on his back, and every time I picture myself humping the living daylights (gimme a break, it's been about 10 years since sex) outa the bunny, I get the hysterical giggles, "thy ROD and thy STAFF comfort me" and "makes me down to lie" well, that kinda just reduces me to a 55Yo heap of giggley, flesh....

Common! you got to admit, doing the old bump-n-grind, with the usual sex grunts, foul language, fanny-farts, slurpin and other miscellaneous noises that goes along with good hot fornication while reading The Lords Prayer...

Well it's...
Well....
Disconcerting....
Downright unnerving......

Or as is the case, with my wacky sense of humor, enough to give you the bloody giggles for three straight days <No pun intended>.

Anyhow, to cut a loooong story short, my plea for help, back then, on GS, was how to get around this problem see'in as how I been after this ba-uti-ful dude since foreva.

And he's there for the having, unashamedly!....

Be that as it may, right as rain, plenty advice was forthcomming, (Thank you, one and all, with a special shout-out to Bow who was particularly, and very graphically I might add, helpful)...

So as it happens, in-spite of everything, this weekend past, opportunity presented itself!

A done deal.
Armed with all the advice from GS, and confident of victory, I was going for a home-run, and after much Dutch-courage, and flirting, and touching, and groping and shedding of clothing, sad to say, when the chips where down, <so to speak,> me an' me pecker ignominiously "collapsed".

Me into a wobbling mass of giggles, and my pecker, so embarrassed by this most untimely display of mirth, did a disappearing act of note, that, quite frankly, had me a little concerned, when I was presented with THIS..... (see thumbnail)


There I was, in all my <now missing> manhood, hysterically giggling, just like a bleedin schoolgirl. Bobby-socks, pig-tails and tears of mirth streaming down the cheeks....The whole nine yards....

You see, thus it came to pass, that in the final hour, t'was The Lord's Prayer that stood fast between me and "the gates of heaven"

So I'll never "enter" heaven....

<Big sigh> What to do.... What, oh what to do....

Sorry all,

Sorry bow <Starts to weep>


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#2
YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME????????????????????????

[Image: upset-cat-grumpy.jpg]


**** sharpening claws ****
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#3
No Honey

Getting more experience... All the better to satisfy you with....:flirty-thank-you-sm
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#4
You're all tarnished now...........
The Omnipotent Mister Tinkles ONLY likes being fed VIRGINS!!!

[Image: 300x300.jpg]
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#5
No wuuuunder

That explains everything
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#6
So.........just have him wear a tank top shirt or Tshirt........or cover his back with chocolate syrup or something.....
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#7
Quote:"thy ROD and thy STAFF comfort me" and "makes me down to lie" well...

Sorry neither of those are in the Lord's Prayer.

Lords Prayer:

Matthew 6:9-13

English Standard Version Anglicised (ESVUK)

9 Pray then like this:
“Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.
10 Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
11 Give us this day our daily bread,
12 and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.


Psalms 23


Psalm 23

English Standard Version Anglicised (ESVUK)

The Lord Is My Shepherd

A Psalm of David.

23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
3 He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
for ever.




Aside from that...

I fail to see the problem.

Possible solutions.

1. Wear a bag over YOUR head.
2. Make him wear a leather vest all the time.
3. Do it missionary style over doggy style.
4. Turn off the fucking lights
5. Take off your glasses.
6. Smear chocolate syrup and/or whipped cream over his back....
Reply

#8
Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:Sorry neither of those are in the Lord's Prayer.

Lords Prayer:

Matthew 6:9-13

English Standard Version Anglicised (ESVUK)

9 Pray then like this:
“Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.
10 Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
11 Give us this day our daily bread,
12 and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.


Psalms 23


Psalm 23

English Standard Version Anglicised (ESVUK)

The Lord Is My Shepherd

A Psalm of David.

23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
3 He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
for ever.




Aside from that...

I fail to see the problem.

Possible solutions.

1. Wear a bag over YOUR head.
2. Make him wear a leather vest all the time.
3. Do it missionary style over doggy style.
4. Turn off the fucking lights
5. Take off your glasses.
6. Smear chocolate syrup and/or whipped cream over his back....

You are so right it's the Lord is my shepherd

Bow, ta, all of this you said the first time except put the bloody bag over my own head,

I still gonna get the bleedin giggles

Anyhow, that whole deal's gone up in smoke thanks to my giggling and me pecker wot's disappeared..... Stuck his head out in the shower this morning for the first time...
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