i thought my friend was virgin!!

[alrod]

Hello everyone, well im new in here and let me tell you a little bit about myself. Around December I met this guy Bryan, we've been talking everyday since then and we are both bi-curious(at least I thought he was), we have shared everything that has happened in our lifes and the struggles we've gone through. He is a med student and im a nursing student so we usually help each other studying. so two days ago he told me that some years ago he lost his virginity, he let his brother's friend have a part of him, after that he also let his neighbor have another part of him, so he's passive, he sucked a friends dick, he also kissed and was naked with 3 other guys,(he said this was like 9 yrs ago) and he didn't tell me none of those stuff until now that I feel like im like im in love with him. He knows how I feel about him but he tells me that he doesn't want anything serious that he is not romantic and it hurts me so much because I was supposed to go visit him this summer to Dominican republic and have our moment together but now im not sure if I want to be with him anymore, im confused and I don't know what to do. PLEASE HELP!!!!

[loserguy]

What is wrong here?

The guy likes you a lot otherwise he would not have shared personal things with you.
And as regards not wanting something long term, a lot of people say that and end up in a relationship.

If you enjoy his company, continue to do so and stop thinking so far ahead as to what may or may not happen. Live in the moment, take every day as it comes, let things happen naturally and enjoy it without looking over your shoulder.

[matty7]

cant say it better than loserguy

[Ryocchi]

Dudes, really, re-read.

Alrod is developing feelings for this guy, and this dude made very clear he doesn't want anything serious, I would advice you highly against being intimate with him hoping that he would change his mind sometime about wanting something serious is setting yourself for a world of hurt, listen to his mouth not to your heart, he probably trust you a lot and like you as a friend and I give props to him for being honest to you about not wanting anything serious at the moment.

Respect yourself, you cannot force your hopes on someone else specially when they made themselves clear, is not fair, neither for them, neither for you.

[southbiochem]

Hmmm..ok the non-virgin part is highly irrelevant here (especially cause you said you thought hes was)

I see something much more pressing here.

He said he's not looking for anything serious. So, I would suggest that if you do want something serious, then don't waste anymore time and emotions on him. Look for someone else who has the same goals as you.

[driftwood]

... we are both bi-curious
...some years ago he lost his virginity, he let his brother's friend have a part of him, after that he also let his neighbor have another part of him, so he's passive, he sucked a friends dick, he also kissed and was naked with 3 other guys...

He's not bi-curious. That implies lack of experience. He knows exactly where he stands, and what he wants.

...He knows how I feel about him but he tells me that he doesn't want anything serious

Now that he has you where he wants you, he's letting you know the score. There's nothing wrong with "no strings attached" hookups, but coming into them dishonestly is definitely wrong.

You don't want to consider international travel, on a basis like this. Imo you shouldn't have anything to do with this guy.

[Woollyhats]

You are in love now.

Not however many days ago when he had these sexual partners.

Unless he still has them, don't make this the deciding factor in pursuing this relationship. More relevant factors, like the fact that he doesn't even want a relationship, should take precedence over this non-issue.

I've never understood the whole "Are you a virgin" jealousy. Knowing for health and perhaps even personality is important, yes.... but being jealous over past affairs that are over... it's just a waste of time.

[Evan88]

The point is.. He said he is not into anything serious.

So i dont see any reasons why you would pursue him and even go to Dominican republic to meet

Don't waste your time and money if you know from the start you are not on the same page..

So my advice is...let it go. It is not even about the virginity issue. You are ready to commit while he's not

[loserguy]

I would just like to add if I may?

If someone is bi-curious, is a relationship a little unrealistic?
From reading the post again, the poster was going to visit his friend to "have his moment". Yes the friend has pretty much said he doesn't want anything which may or may not be the case but I think the poster is disappointed that his friend has some experience rather than the fact that he doesn't want a relationship.

I still thinks if he likes the guy he should go for it if he still wants to but obviously don't have high expectations of a second session or he might be disappointed.

His options are:
NSA with his friend.
Forget about his friend.
In taking the first action regardless of what his friend says, a closer friendship may or may not follow. Wanting more will probably but not necessarily lead to heartbreak. It all depends ultimately on exactly what the poster thinks he wants. Just my opinion...