A Living Will

[LONDONER]

I, __________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers / doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

Glass of wine

Sex

chocolate

Margarita

chocolate

Sex

Martini

Cold Beer

chocolate

Chicken fried steak

cream gravy

chocolate

Sex

Mexican food

chocolate

French fries

chocolate

Pizza

chocolate

ice cream

cup of tea

chocolate

Chocolate

Sex

Chocolate

It should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, let the 'fat lady sing,' and call it a day!