Getting his attention

[Grant]

I'm hoping that someone has some advice for me, I'm a bit lost on what to do and I'm just exhausted from over-thinking.

I'm crushing on a guy I met recently at a friend's birthday party. He and I have been acquaintances for some time, but didn't meet until last weekend. We chatted for about 30 minutes in a mixed group but at other times of the night he and I exchanged some shy glances until we finally actually introduced ourselves to each other.

We were both travelling the next day and before I even got home from the airport he had already added me on Facebook and sent a short "great to meet you" message. I responded, and left it at that. He and I haven't chatted since then, but he's checked out my profile on another website a couple of days later.

We have a lot in common, and I think he's super cute, but I've got two basic questions:

1. I just got out of a long 8-year relationship that died a kinda slow death. So I'm terribly concerned that what I'm feeling is just the rebound effect. Because we have been acquaintances for a while, I feel terrible about even having that thought. I think I'm overthinking this part though.

2. He's in the last semester of his PhD. I know he's incredibly busy so how can I balance my desire to get to know him better without interfering in his life? We're at a distance so it's going to be Facebook or another social media platform for the time being.

We will be seeing each other at a mutual event at the end of May, so my current mindset is to just let it ride until we can get back together in person next month. That way, I can make a more direct attempt at getting to know him without annoying the piss out of him during probably the most stressful time in his life so far.

That begs one more question:
How in hell do I drop some hints that I find him just absolutely dreamy without becoming a damn puddle of goo, especially in person?

Any advice at all is appreciated. Thanks for all of your help.

[Grant]

Update:

Scratch all of that above. As usual, because I find someone attractive, and they seem receptive, the universe comes in to shut it down. He updated facebook with a new relationship.

I'm heartbroken, but there's nothing I can do but move on. Luckily, we didn't know each other that well so I can't complain that I was led on. Oh well, there are some silver linings around I'm sure.

[Ryocchi]

Let it flow naturally, you're afraid of the rebound effect so speeding up things doesn't really help, when he's chatting in a group try to mingle your way in the conversation sooner or later you will start talking one on one, and good luck pal! wish you the best!

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Um no you are not over thinking it. If the thought crosses your mind 'I may be suffering from rebound' take that as a serious 'gut instinct' about you and the situation.

I have learned to set a 365 day limit on getting involved after a break up.... That is a safe enough time frame I think.

"2. He's in the last semester of his PhD. I know he's incredibly busy so how can I balance my desire to get to know him better without interfering in his life?"

Good - well good reason for you to not commit to a relationship at this time. I would suggest that you take it slowly, minor thinks like ask him out for coffee between classes. Strive to build a friendship with him at this point.

[southbiochem]

Oh crap, I'm sorry that happened to you.

Although he did seemd interested in you at least.

Well, in case this happens again with another person, I think you were going on a right path. Considering the possible rebound effect is very smart.

In any case, depending on how much time it has passed you definitely need to let yourself be alone for a while before attempting any dating.

And yes, he was very busy. In any case isn't that why facebook exists? To throw hints online so they can't notice how nervous you are? And then when you get to see again in real life it will be less hard to do it?

[loserguy]

You win some you lose some