Okay, so I'm simi-openly bi in the sense that I've told many people at home and elsewhere but not at college. My best friend is gay and I noticed that I really like him not too long ago. I'm almost 90% sure that he doesn't feel the same way about me even though we flirt, hold hands, and cuddle frequently. He believes that I am straight based on my dating history and events that have happened on campus. I am conflicted to whether I should tell him or not. On the upside, if he doesn't feel the same way, I won't be here next semester and I can avoid the awkwardness. On the downside, I feel like I might loose my best friend. What should I do?
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I don't see what you would be losing in telling him.
Start by pointing out you're bi. That is something he won't have a problem with.And then you can hint you like him. You can tell him in an ambiguous matter "hey what if I told you I liked you, how would you react?"
You have more years of college ahead to find a partner of whatever gender, so any rejection, you will overcome it.
But the friensdhip I think could be ever closer if you make this step of trust in telling him.
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He is your best friend so i would tell him,a doubt you would lose him,and who's knows want may them develop between you.At the very least you will be able to be more honest and open with each other.
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Ask him out to a gay bar and see what happens?
Then tell him.
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Making a best friend out of a person to whom we're desperately attracted is never a good idea because we're such wolves at one time, but we all have our caprice.
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You don't mention the age of your friend, but I'm guessing that it is about the same as yourself. If you feel so strongly about him, then I'd tell him. What have you to lose? If, as you say, he is openly gay, the I doubt that you will be rejected. I can tell you it's not good to go through life looking back and thinking about what might have been...
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I agree with everyone else, come out first and then work towards telling him your feelings.
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I don't think you'd lose him by telling him - Just don't expect anything to change because there isn't a need for it to change. Who knows over time things may develop and be good? But at the moment its more than likely best to keep things the same, but be honest and tell him how you feel? Just because you like someone doesn't mean it has to turn into a relationship some of the best friendships happen that way.
[COLOR="Purple"]As I grow to understand less and less,
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In the 20th century straight men didn't hold hands, cuddle and crap like that with other guys because everyone knew that that was gay.
IDK - I read a lot of posts here where you kids of the 21st century appear to think that two guys cuddling, holding hands, laying on top of each other and all of that is perfectly normal straight behavior...
I really wish someone would please tell me when it became totally acceptable for straight guys to get all touchy-feely in a gay sort of way....
I don't know about anyone else, but I personally do not get all cuddly/huggy hand holding with someone who I don't have feelings for. I definately wouldn't do that with a straight friend of mine because, well you know, he is straight and two guys cuddling is gay.
Usually I just advise people to do stuff. However I'm going to make a rare exception and I will ORDER you to tell him promptly that you are one of those bisexuals.
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