I regret it too freaking much

[Pix]

it sounds like a living nightmare! It was the same for me. It felt like such a damned vivid nightmare. The hallucinations were nasty and I had no control over my actions. I can't account for those times when I blacked out either. I didn't know what I was doing or saying and that was the most terrifying thing about the whole experience.

For what it's worth I thought I'd share something.

Someone (who intended to rape me and/or sell me to a pimp) slipped me some drugs against my will though luckily friends of mine (runaways on the street) saved me from him just as the drug started kicking in and he was trying to lead me away. I don't know what, my guess from the symptoms was PCP though more experienced druggies gave me the name of other drugs (but they don't fit the symptoms, like hallucinations). In any case I had more than one blackout, many lasting for hours. For example it was afternoon and then next memory I have was "coming to" in a park miles away at dusk wondering how I got there, and then I "woke up" again walking down a street (with friends) late at night, one infamous for its violence. About then I started to come down from it and I think that was my last major blackout that lasted hours.

Cringing, I asked others (people who'd have told me the truth) about what happened when I was blacked out. They said I was just quiet, acting sleepy, and unusually boring. I responded to people like I was half awake and just acted dazed. I wasn't screaming, getting violent, stripping off my clothes, or anything like that. It was more like part of my brain was asleep and I was just on automatic. A rapist would've loved to had me then but luckily I was protected from that. And I'm sure it was for the best that I didn't prepare any food (or worse, cook).

Hopefully it was the same for you, you were just "sleepwalking with programmed responses to stimuli." (Btw, one of the strangest things I heard was a guy who described the weirdest hallucinations WHILE DRIVING, including driving straight without stopping which is impossible, yet he drove many miles home without even a simple fender bender, nor did he get pulled over, somehow his brain "drove as if he was sober.")

Another thing about hallucinogens is the vibe around you (generally created by people though colors, noise, and the like also affect it, and it's possible "psychic vibrations" do as well) affects what it's like. If the vibe is soothing or fun then the trip will likely be so as well. If people around you tend to be anxious or paranoid with harsh colors and grim music then very likely that will be enhanced and inflicted on you. Doing shrooms in a field where you feel safe is generally very pleasant, doing them in a home with loud music and people you don't know well is much more likely to be bad. And some who take hallucinogens also swear by taking a vitamin (B something) saying it prevents and/or stops bad trips as well as help you remember what happened better (supposedly helps sober people remember their dreams better, too).