Thanks again for the warm welcome everyone - I was a little nervous about coming onto the forum so thanks for making me realise this was definitely the right decision.
Hehe how does this make me feel... hmm... this is an easy question right?
She actually does know or at least she knows that I had an online relationship with a woman before I even met her and she, along with my other close friends, knows that I'm open minded when it comes to relationships and has no problem with it, she has a lot of LGBT friends back home in the USA. Sometimes I think she's perfectly aware of how I feel about her but because she knows I'd never do anything to jeopardise our friendship she's never said anything. She always talks about how much I have in common with her husband too in terms of our outlook, personality etc. She lives in the USA now though so I don't see her as much as I would like even though we talk as often as we can. I thought that maybe having that physical distance might make a difference to how I feel but it hasn't so far.
I'm not sure anyone in my family would be surprised as such, I've always been a tomboy, I was always playing 'soldiers' or playing with action figures, toy guns etc as a kid - apart from when I was really wee (we're talking toddler here) I've only worn a dress once in my life and that was my choice for my 21st just cos I wanted to see how I'd feel. It was ok, I'd wear one again if I had to but really I'm more of a jeans, t-shirts, no make up kind of girl. Though I do wear a little make up at work because it's 'expected'. I know that my aunt who is very close to the family would hate me if I were to show up with a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend, I love her but she's pretty homophobic and I actually think she'd stop me from seeing her kids (one of whom is my Godson) and so that's the main reason I haven't 'come out' to the family as such. I'd be devastated if she did that, she's my dad's sister and since he died three years ago I feel it'd be much harder to lose her and the kids because I'd likely lose my gramps too (my dad's dad).
I can't afford to be 'out' in work as such because of the environment I work in - it's a pretty rough school. Plus parents can be really weird when it comes to these things, they don't want their child being 'corrupted' and other such bs. I don't tend to socialise too much with my colleagues anyway though so it wouldn't really be too much of an issue, I'm not the kind of teacher who likes to spend her life talking about teaching or bitching about kids or ex husbands/boyfriends or whatever and there's so much back stabbing and infighting it's best to steer clear if you can, at least that's how it is in the place I work now.
God if I'm ever lucky enough to find that special lass she's going to have a lot to deal with isn't she...
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