04-30-2014, 05:37 PM
One day, a wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. Naturally, she was very upset. âYou are a disrespectful pig!â she cried. âHow dare you do this to me! Iâm a faithful wife, the mother of your children! Iâm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!â
The husband replied, âHang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.â
âGo ahead,â she sobbed, âbut theyâll be the last words youâll say to me!â
So the husband began, âWell, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadnât eaten for three days. So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night. The ones you wouldnât eat because youâre afraid youâll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments!
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but donât wear because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you donât wear because I donât have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you donât wear just to annoy her and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and donât wear because someone at work has a pair the same.â
The husband took a quick breath and continued, âShe was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and saidâ¦â
âDo you have anything else that your wife doesnât use?â
The husband replied, âHang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.â
âGo ahead,â she sobbed, âbut theyâll be the last words youâll say to me!â
So the husband began, âWell, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadnât eaten for three days. So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night. The ones you wouldnât eat because youâre afraid youâll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments!
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but donât wear because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you donât wear because I donât have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you donât wear just to annoy her and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and donât wear because someone at work has a pair the same.â
The husband took a quick breath and continued, âShe was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and saidâ¦â
âDo you have anything else that your wife doesnât use?â
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams