18 is the age of discovery. You all want to be loved, like anybody else but you do not yet understand what love is. The problem I see with this tremendous age GAP is that your 50 years old man knows what love is... he can define it with the nicest words in the world, but for you it's just a beginning. Love has a different meaning for everyone at different stage of age. You may like someone because he's being nice and attentive to you but that's not love. My husband Alex is 10 years younger than I am. I'm soon 38 and he'll turn 28 in August, he's one heck of a beautiful guy and to be honest (I'm not a vomit case myself) but I met him he was 19 and I was 29. At first I did believe it was LOVE but no it wasn't it was physical attraction... it was me hitting the shit of a 19 years old twink but yes it did developped into love but for at least 3 years into our relationship the only think I was proud of was his age and beauty. That's why Anom I'm asking if you can define love... do you trully believe that you love this man or that you're just being pleased that he gives you attention and stuff?
Be careful and make the right choice. As Marky said;
Quote:The bonus dating someone your age is you are going to experience similar things at similar times meaning you'd be there for each other and can lean on each other
Stop and think it through seriously... what is your real motive behind that possible relationship. If your reasons are nothing else but real affection for this man GO FOR IT. But I doubt it, I seriously doubt that you're in love with him. In fact admiration isn't love. it's just admiration.
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For me and my husbear the age difference is absolutely irrelevant. There's 30 years between us and naturally, he has experienced lots of things, have older relationships with his friends, is at a different place in his life (he is already educated, has had several jobs, several boyfriends). Sure. All of that is true.
So what? Unless you've been joint at the hip since birth your lives will have been different.
Nobody says you have to stay with that guy forever, but there's nothing wrong with having a relationship with a guy who's much older than you. Many of us have it and some of us are living it every day. Personally I'm just fine and wouldn't change it if I could.
What I'm trying to say is, if you're attracted to him, there's no reason not to let him be your first.
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Cuddly Wrote:For me and my husbear the age difference is absolutely irrelevant. There's 30 years between us and naturally, he has experienced lots of things, have older relationships with his friends, is at a different place in his life (he is already educated, has had several jobs, several boyfriends). Sure. All of that is true.
So what? Unless you've been joint at the hip since birth your lives will have been different.
Nobody says you have to stay with that guy forever, but there's nothing wrong with having a relationship with a guy who's much older than you. Many of us have it and some of us are living it every day. Personally I'm just fine and wouldn't change it if I could.
What I'm trying to say is, if you're attracted to him, there's no reason not to let him be your first.
Well good that it works for you Cuddly but this dude here has more than just a question he has a thousand and when thousands of question comes to your mind... that's not a sign of goodness. What works for one doesn't automatically means it will work for other. You made it work... but the OPS ISN'T YOU and he's much younger already. If there's true love sure I'd say go for it... but if there's exclamation sign floating above his heads it's already a sign that's it's not what he truly wants.
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What I suggest to you all who are going to advise this dude... try not to involve yourself in your comments. Look at it from an external point of view... read what he wrotes and try not to apply it to you. Sure your experience may be of help... but we're talking about a teenager going for a much much older man. Cuddly with all due respect I understand what you mean... you're 25 and your man is 55 and so far it have gone very well for you and I am very happy for you... but your experience ISN'T an example to follow, WHY because you have set your own rules but at 18 this is a very difficult decision to make and he needs to see all the cons and pros of such commitment. If you're going to advise a youngster to go for such relationship, remove yourself as an example and see the big picture and ask the right question. I have been asking several time the ops about his degree of love toward the man. LOVE not LIKE, if there's love between them I don't give a flying fuck about their age difference. But if there's no love it means that one of them will be taking advantage of the other and that is NOT RIGHT. So you guys stop being a bunch of ostriches and take your head off your ass. And star giving proper and well thought advises.
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Jake Wrote:What I suggest to you all who are going to advise this dude... try not to involve yourself in your comments. Look at it from an external point of view... read what he wrotes and try not to apply it to you. Sure your experience may be of help... but we're talking about a teenager going for a much much older man. Cuddly with all due respect I understand what you mean... you're 25 and your man is 55 and so far it have gone very well for you and I am very happy for you... but your experience ISN'T an example to follow, WHY because you have set your own rules but at 18 this is a very difficult decision to make and he needs to see all the cons and pros of such commitment. If you're going to advise a youngster to go for such relationship, remove yourself as an example and see the big picture and ask the right question. I have been asking several time the ops about his degree of love toward the man. LOVE not LIKE, if there's love between them I don't give a flying fuck about their age difference. But if there's no love it means that one of them will be taking advantage of the other and that is NOT RIGHT. So you guys stop being a bunch of ostriches and take your head off your ass. And star giving proper and well thought advises.
I agree. He doesn't seem to know what he wants, but his initial question was pretty simple "is it ok to date a much older guy", to which the answer is also very simple "yes, it is.". All of these other issues are things we've come up with and forced down upon him. You and me have both been trying to guess what his feelings are and all we've been given is a like. He seems to be either attracted to him and ashamed to admit it, or not attracted to him because of his age and ashamed to admit that.
You are not in control of what you're attracted to. All you can do is follow your gut and go with what feels natural. For me it was natural, so I went for it. It turned out great and I shared my experiences.
And my experience IS an example to follow. Love conquers all! I will continue to be an ostrich for the rest of my life. I couldn't care less what other people think; I will do what makes me happy. I am not hurting anybody by having this kind of relationship, so all of the rude and offensive opinions can fly right by, while I have my head burried nicely in my ass. Life's too short to live it the way other people think you should be living it.
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Cuddly Wrote:I agree. He doesn't seem to know what he wants, but his initial question was pretty simple "is it ok to date a much older guy", to which the answer is also very simple "yes, it is.". All of these other issues are things we've come up with and forced down upon him. You and me have both been trying to guess what his feelings are and all we've been given is a like. He seems to be either attracted to him and ashamed to admit it, or not attracted to him because of his age and ashamed to admit that.
You are not in control of what you're attracted to. All you can do is follow your gut and go with what feels natural. For me it was natural, so I went for it. It turned out great and I shared my experiences.
And my experience IS an example to follow. Love conquers all! I will continue to be an ostrich for the rest of my life. I couldn't care less what other people think; I will do what makes me happy. I am not hurting anybody by having this kind of relationship, so all of the rude and offensive opinions can fly right by, while I have my head burried nicely in my ass. Life's too short to live it the way other people think you should be living it.
Be an ostrich as you wish... they are succulent birds. What I said earlier can be applied to anybody so if you take offense at something so general... that's your god damn issue. It doesn't mean that I was directly targeting you. So relax and smell the roses.
I have had myself older boyfriends and the experience and knowledge I got from those relationships I wouldn't remove them for the like of me... so we're talking about the same darn thing... and yes so far the ops doesn't seems to know what Saints to pray for... at least we agree with that. Far from me to judge your relationship with your man I don't know you personally and neither do you so fix that problem of yours of taking things literally and/or personally and we'll speak on equal grounds.
Best regards!
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Age Does not matter!!!
It depends if you like him or not? I read some of your other posts and I can tell you have some issue's and are insecure so any guy who's nice to you.... you believe there nice and have your best interests at heart. I would go steady mate with this guy, suss him out first but whatever u do, Do not sleep with him for the first few meets because that might be only what he's after from you.
Stay safe mate
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As a 20 y/o student I had a long term affair with a professor, and the result for me was almost completely happy. I know of several reasons why I should never have had this relationship with a man in his late 40s. He was (is) married, although without children. He had been my history prof (though not when we first had sex toegther). He would surely have gotten in trouble if his affair with me had become known. The age gap between us was huge.
But we were very compatible, he was fit and handsome and a good lover. In short, we had good vibes. The only bad thing was that his wife found out and was unhappy about me.
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frachas Wrote:The only bad thing was that his wife found out and was unhappy about me.
LOL I don't know why... you definitely were younger than she was and oh she just discovered that her husband was gay lol... I have no idea why she would be unhappy about you... it is such a mystery. 
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Next dude saying that age doesn't matter... please check rethink your statement because when someone telling that age doesn't matter, it also means that if you're 15 going out with a man 3 time your age, living with your parents while the other dude can at least talk about is 20 years backward experience... I believe that age does matter in that sense. The reason that it works well for you doesn't mean it's the perfect recipes for other. Age doesn't matter right... Alright when you'll have kids or if you ever have kids of your own, I'm certain you'll change your speech when your 16 years old daughter or little 13 years old boy be approached by a man aged 40. Age doesn't matter when both are in full acknowledgement of the repercussions, the judgement they'll be victim of and if both are legal... Otherwise YES age does matter.
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