I feel very bad after losing my virginity

[Anonymous]

So I'm 20 years old guy and recently I had sex for the very first time in my life. I won't say I regret it, but I feel really bad about what I did. I guess it's quite weird, because everything was seemingly ok, I really liked the guy, our relationships is another story, but he was something like my boyfriend. He was very slow and gentle and caring. At that moment it really felt like I was ready and I wanted it, I wanted him and I had no second thought, I didn't think about anything else. It felt quite good physically too.

But the next morning I started to feel terribly and I still feel that way, so almost 2 weeks. I don't even know why, because it was my own choice, I agreed to it and that moment I wanted it. Nobody forced me or rushed me into anything. It's hard to explain what exactly it is, but I feel like as if I've lost something very valuable. I think about it all the time, that I would like to turn the time back when I was virgin still. I feel like I'm not the same person I was before.

The guy I had sex with wants to meet me again, he called me several times and I told him that everything between us is over, because after what has happened I just don't want to see him ever again. We weren't actually boyfriends, but we liked each other a lot and spent a lot of time together, and now he seems quite upset, but I really can't see him again, I hope he'll get over it.

I don't know what is it that I feel? Is it something like a postpartum depression that mothers sometimes feel after they have their baby? Maybe there's also some kind of depression that you feel after you lose your virginity?

[Bluelight]

Virginity is just a concept, personally I feel that it is over-glorified in our society. Maybe that's why I had no remorse when I lost mine with such little notice... honestly, I feel like practice makes perfect, when I find "the one" I want to be experienced, but that's just me.

I say move on, accept that this happened and that you enjoyed it in the moment. Isn't that really all that matters? It sounds like you're just having some anxiety about it.

I feel like I'm not the same person I was before.

You will be changing as a person for the rest of your life. It's what we do as human beings, embrace the changes and I guarantee that you'll be much happier.

[nullnaught]

I think losing your virginity means a lot to most people, less to others and nothing to a very few.

I thought nothing of it. And i do not know if i lost my virginity to a girl or guy. It is soooo unimportant to me.

[Cuddly]

Honestly? I think it sounds ridiculous.

You didn't lose anything. You gained an experience and a feeling of closeness that you didn't have before. You experienced what life, at its core, is all about. Except it was gay sex and we don't create offspring by having that, but you get the idea.

You should tell that guy how you feel and explain that it isn't his fault. The act felt great. He was great and caring. But you feel robbed of something and being around him would remind you of that.
I can't even begin to imagine how badly you hurt him by rejecting him in such a way after having sex with him. He must think something is very wrong with him.

[Anonymous]

I feel like I haven't gained anything, only lost something from me. I feel like trash and all the time I think I've done something I shouldn't have done. It might be ridiculous, but that's how I feel. I've always been a positive person, but now it feels as if a black cloud has came over me.

I already told him nothing's wrong with him. But I won't discuss my feelings with him, he has become very much like a stranger to me.

[Cuddly]

I feel like I haven't gained anything, only lost something from me. I feel like trash and all the time I think I've done something I shouldn't have done. It might be ridiculous, but that's how I feel. I've always been a positive person, but now it feels as if a black cloud has came over me.

I already told him nothing's wrong with him. But I won't discuss my feelings with him, he has become very much like a stranger to me.

Sounds like you've become a stranger to yourself too.

The only way your feelings towards losing your virginity are going to change, is if you change them yourself. It's all in your head and sadly there's nothing we can do to fix that. If you need fixing it's a psychiatrist's job.

What's so bad about having lost your virginity? Do you feel dirty? Unpure?

[CellarDweller]

I feel like I haven't gained anything, only lost something from me. I feel like trash and all the time I think I've done something I shouldn't have done. It might be ridiculous, but that's how I feel. I've always been a positive person, but now it feels as if a black cloud has came over me.

I already told him nothing's wrong with him. But I won't discuss my feelings with him, he has become very much like a stranger to me.

I think you need to talk to a therapist because (to me) it doesn't sound like that you have an issue with your virginity, but rather sex itself. Having sex with someone doesn't make you (or them) trashy.

I know a lot of people who wish they didn't have sex for the first time with the people they did, either they felt pressured or the person turned out to be different than they thought, or whatever.

My first time was important to me, and it was as you described yours. He was very slow and gentle and caring and I have no regrets about it.

Please see someone, and unburden yourself of these feelings. If you do, you may be able to look back on the experience in a positive way.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for your advice, guys, but I won't go to doctor because of this. I could never speak with stranger about such an intimate things.

[Cuddly]

Thanks for your advice, guys, but I won't go to doctor because of this. I could never speak with stranger about such an intimate things.

I feel much the same way, but if this really troubles you, maybe you should?

[Anonymous]

Well, believe this feeling will cease someday. I just can't understand why do I feel this way. I wanted it then and now I wish I hadn't done it.