New Guy

[AlohaShannon]

Welcome!

I was in your same position not too long ago. It took a number of years, but my wife helped me to realize my identity. Ultimately, the way things are ending could have been A LOT better. For me, my process of coming out has caused my wife significant heartache and I feel horrible for devastating her. We currently live in Hawaii and she will be moving to the mainland with our kids soon. I don't regret accepting who I am finally; but I do regret all the hurt that I have caused. It isn't just with her though, my kids will no longer get their daddy every day, I won't be able to help them with their homework, play with, cuddle with, or tuck them in except when I'm able to visit them (I am in the military and cannot follow them until I retire, which is in a couple years). My heart breaks for my wife and for my kids.

I guess the reason I'm telling you this is because I would have given anything to accept my identity but still be with my family. I love my wife and I know under different circumstances we could have been a team through all this change and still been each other's soul mates. Remember, the next steps you take don't just effect you...

[ChadCoxRox]

Welcome aboard! Best wishes as you endure!

[Tulloni]

Hi Dan! Welcome to GS. Man that sounds tough, can't be easy with 5 kids either - pardon me for asking but how do you cope with them all? Just having to keep an eye on one of my cousins kids drains my energy, I wouldn't want to imagine having to look after 5 of them. You do well to manage.

At the end of the day though you should just tell your wife the truth, you would feel much better afterwards. I know it would be hard but you'd all feel better afterwards

[Dan1980]

Hi Dan welcome to GS.

[HIkerSkier]

ohcuriousguy4 - Welcome to GS. I 'm sure you can find guys to relate to your situation.