Sooo...that happened.

[TonyAndonuts]

Hey...so, remember a while back I talked about how I feel like I might be bisexual, despite feeling straight my entire life and having never done anything sexual before (I hadn't even kissed anyone). And I also said that I wanted to actually experience something with a guy before I could decide if my bi-curious feelings were true. Well, I actually did meet someone on Jack'd. He's a guy I saw pretty often around campus, but never actually talked to him. We started hanging out about 2 and a half weeks ago, and every time we did I noticed we were getting closer and closer. He was making all the moves because I was completely new to everything and had no idea what to do. Well, last night thing escalated pretty far, going from holding hands, to cuddling, to making out, to stripping down to our underwear, to dry humping, to blowjobs. Sooo, yeah, I had my first sexual experience, and it was with a guy. The me years ago would never have seen this coming... >_>

I've asked myself how I felt afterward and.....it was nice. Just nice. I don't know, I always here from people that when you kiss someone and get sexual with them, you really feel something. Like a spark or something. Considering it was my first experience, I have no idea what that spark's supposed to feel like. I mean, I wouldn't be opposed to doing it again, but after watching porn and fantasizing about sex (even though there was no penetration), I guess my expectations were too high. Because of this, I'm STILL not sure if I'm bisexual. I've never been with a girl before, so what if I did and I do feel that spark everyone talks about? I've also heard that most people's first times aren't that great and they get better, so maybe it will get better?

Also, since I'm completely new to this, I've been a little paranoid about STDs. All I know is the riskiest thing you can do is have anal sex without a condom. Since all we did was make out and give each other blowjobs, I don't think I'm in too much danger. But then again, I've never read up on the risks of mouth to mouth contact or...mouth to dick contact beforehand. I kind of feel like I'm getting a minor sore throat, but it might just be nothing.....right?

[HaZe]

In regards to the first part: It's easy enough to tell what you are just by the thoughts you have. If you think you'd enjoy being with a girl, try it! The spark you speak of isn't found by having sex with the right gender, it's all about the right person. If you enjoyed the interaction you had with the guy then you'll more than certainly enjoy it more with a guy you have feelings toward, giving you that possible spark. Same thing could happen with a girl if you find you enjoy sex with them as well.

As for the second part: STDs are a real issue, especially when meeting up with people who use the social apps you speak of. Two major diseases to watch out for are: Herpes (easy enough to tell if there are active sores on their mouth, genitals, etc.), and the other of course is AIDS (check out: aids.gov) Just use proper protection and you should be fine. If they seem risky, just stay away all together.

[HumbleTangerine]

Yay you! Congratulations!

That spark people refer to isn't anything universal at all. It didn't happen to me during my first sexual encounter; it was more of a surreal experience. Since people's perception of sex is somewhat limited to movies, porn and fantasies before they actually become sexually active, the first time can provoke many different, strange feelings. For me, passion (or the 'spark') didn't show up until much later. You don't have to worry about your first time being different from the stories you've heard. That's pretty much bound to happen.

As for your second question, it's possible to contract STD through oral, but I believe the chances are really low. I'm not absolutely sure, though, so you might be wise not to take my word for it.

[sillyboy86]

First: C O N G R A T S !
'The spark' during the first time is more rare than common, also the first time is very crappy for many people, probably the most... So a decent but not sparkling first time is good and realistic...
And obviously the best way to avoid STDs is make protect sex and not with with random people...
But I don't think you should be paranoid for oral sex...

[TonyAndonuts]

Now I'm looking over my body, checking for any sores or bumps and trying to remember if they were already there before... :/

[HaZe]

With the limited interaction you had with them, you more than likely didn't catch anything. Plus if they had any major bumps or sores you would have seen them and I'd hope you wouldn't have touched it, haha. But don't hesitate to go to your local physician for some blood work if you're worried you have something. The sooner you catch it the better. General rule of thumb is to get tested every 6 months anyway to play it safe.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Now I'm looking over my body, checking for any sores or bumps and trying to remember if they were already there before... :/

Stop over thinking this. It was your first time, there was some sexual chemistry. The spark you refer to will come later.

Enjoy it for what it was, and arrange your second date

ObW
X

[Bowyn Aerrow]

You only feel something if there is real attraction there.

A lot of people hold on to the theory that the first kiss and the explosive nature (or nonexplosive nature) of the first kiss can decide if there is a future or not.

Attraction and relationships are not cut and dry. If they were then the Friends With Benefits situation would not exist.. or one night stands or bromances or lovers, or polygamy or... well there is a lot of Ors...

First time sex with a person is often disappointing. Unless you two have discussed sex openly and honestly and go into it knowing each other fairly well. Even then first time is a learning curve experience. While humans are similarly constructed/designed, the reality is that the right combination of button pushing to set them off is fairly unique to each individual. And discovering the right combination with a partner is often a thing of experiment and trial and error.

Sex is not a good judge of a health of relationship. Sex is the icing on the cake, the relationship, and if you LIKE your partner determines far better the health of the relationship and if its going to have legs.

Using sex as a measure of sexuality is a false road to go down. We hear 'sexuality' and assume its just about sex - however sexuality is far more complex than where the hardware plugs into software.

So set aside the sex aspect here. Do you LIKE this fellow? Are you two compatible in your differences and have sufficient similarities to where you can share a life?

If not, then the sex aspect may not be as satisfying.

A lot of people require a certain level of non-sexual attraction to be present in order for sex to be satisfying and fulfilling on an emotional level. This is why so many prefer monogamous, LTR relationships over open/promescuity - there is a deeper emotional need than just the momentary pleasure after the average 7 minutes of vigorous s~exercise.

[TonyAndonuts]

I do like this guy, I'm not sure if I'd go as far as saying I love him just yet, but I do like him. We still spend time together and I guess I'm not expecting anything, whatever happens happens.

[ChadCoxRox]

Wouldn't it be a total hoot if you guys end up with a good friendship and you end up bringing him here to show him your initial thoughts and concerns! Best wishes!