I feel terrible, and I hate myself for it.

[Anonymous]

Hey guys. So, there's a reason why I'm posting as Anon, one of the reasons is that I kinda wanna get this off my chest without anyone realizing how weak I actually am.

I feel really lonely. The thing is, everyone just keeps telling me ' Oh, the guy who gets you is gonna be lucky as hell. You're so confident, funny and smart. You have a way of lighting the room up when everyones feeling down ' and to be honest, I'm none of those things. I'm not confident. I'm not funny. I'm definitely not smart.

My self-esteem is shit low, and I hate the fact that I can't seem to be content in myself without finding another person to love me. I hate the fact that I'm depending my happiness on someone else that isn't me. I feel weak and stupid for that.

I know. I know that we shouldn't put our happiness on someone else, but you can't deny the reassurance and safety knowing that there's a person that would behind your back when things get tough.

I also hate myself for being such a hopeless romantic, gosh, when will I grow up? When will I grow the fuck up and leave the idea of romance behind. I don't even know why I created this thread. Maybe I wanted some comforting, maybe I wanted the attention like the attention whore that I am, and I hate myself for it.

*sigh*...well, glad I got that off my chest.

[CardShark]

I think you're just feeling human chap.

Happiness dependent on someone else is quite normal trying to fill that void of lonelyness which we all strive to fill.

Being romantic i don't see as ever being a childish thing, why grow up in that sense romance should never die.

Cheer up chap I think you're feeling what the majority of people feel .

[Mark]

As I said in another post sometimes writing down and ranting helps you clear your head and work things out rationally so don't feel bad for that.

You will never see yourself how other see you, so don't question the good things people say about you, it is as simple as that you just can't see it. Finding someone to love you makes people feel good because it just confirms you aren't useless or the worst guy out there, somebody loves you for being you.. How can that be a bad thing?

Happiness often comes from other people, same as peoples moods can reflect in our own, so once again thats nothing odd, and you shouldn't see it as a bad thing. Romance isn't a childish thing - its something people desire all through their lives, and it does exist!

Stop being so hard on yourself. If you hate yourself then how can someone else love you? You'd always question the motives and wonder when they would go. Just learn to respect yourself and see some good.

Don't over think things, or it will drive you crazy.

[Wolfpack]

Sorry to hear you are feeling low, and bad about yourself.
people that you know tell you that you are funny smart etch, so some truth must exist in what they say or they would not say them. But you tell yourself you are none of these things, but how do you feel after you have thought these comments? bad about yourself i guess, so you are your own worse enemy. Try to be a bit more nicer to yourself, do put yourself down so much. Think about all the good qualities you have, surround yourself with good and positive people in your life.
Nothing wrong with being a romantic, that is a very good quality to have , and i am sure the person you end up with will be very pleased about that.
So you feel lonely and want companionship, that is perfectly normal so do not beat yourself over wanting something that is perfectly natural. Do not hate yourself, try to love yourself then you will be better able top love someone else.
As for finding someone special you already know how to go about that, and of course it is not easy for anyone to find that special person, but you will have to try. And nothing wrong AT ALL with wanting to care/love somebody and want that back.
so be kinder to yourself, and i hope getting to chat about your problems has helped if only a little

[Anonymous]

Thank you guys. It's just that all my life, I've been trying so hard to be everyone's anchor, I've just gotten tired. I want my own anchor to keep me grounded. but thank you.

[Mark]

Thank you guys. It's just that all my life, I've been trying so hard to be everyone's anchor, I've just gotten tired. I want my own anchor to keep me grounded. but thank you.

If you ever need to talk - just PM.

[Anonymous]

If you ever need to talk - just PM.

I don't know. As I said, I've always been a listener, and never the venter...though I'm venting right now haha. I don't know, but I try to keep this facade things are going to be okay...and I wanna keep it that way.

[Mark]

Offer is there

[MikeW]

Don't hate yourself. LOL, and don't hate yourself for hating yourself!

You're human like all the rest of us. We're often not our best (sometimes, yes, but not always). I assume you're quite young (way younger than I, anyway) so life is kind of like this.

We have to learn about ourselves. Somethings we can't change and just need to accept *I am what I am*. Somethings we can change things for the better that need to be changed. But that may take time and a bit of discipline and more self-knowledge.

As an old one, I've found that some things just change as I get older. (I was just thinking the other day how I don't get bent out of shape about things *nearly* as often as I used to. Not that I've made any particular effort to be less wound up about stuff, it just sort of happened.)

Anyway, whatever you do, don't hate yourself. Just step back, take a deep breath, remember that whatever it is 'this too shall pass' and things will change.

[Bhp91126]

Thank you guys. It's just that all my life, I've been trying so hard to be everyone's anchor, I've just gotten tired. I want my own anchor to keep me grounded. but thank you.

Maybe it is time for "the others" to be anchors for you as well and provide some interpersonal warmth.