Dating Basics?

[Anonymous]

Basically, I never had a relationship in my whole life. No kisses, no hook-ups, no nth.

So, I have totally no clue how a date would be like.

How does a date go about?
What are the activities/events that are usually done?
In what way does a guy-guy date differ from a guy-girl date?

How was your first date? I'm eager to know about your experiences.

I'm reaching 30 yrs soon and my body is getting older. I just feel upset and miserable that I can't find a partner yet.

Lastly, will you consider dating a guy who is slightly effeminate?

[ChadCoxRox]

slightly effeminate gay guys are all over and date all the time and hook up all the time and yes, yes, and yes.

[Uneunsae]

I like having coffee/tea and talking for a first date. A nice walk. Something that allows us to have conversation. I'm not really into the movie thing, but food is okay if we get hungry. After the first date, we can do whatever we both like! I'm a very low-key person, though. Some people like to do more exciting things on dates than I do.

Since I'm very effeminate, I don't mind a guy who is slightly effeminate.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

The last time I dated we used clubs over the head and dragging the new mate to the cave.

I understand its become slightly more complicated since then.

[Borg69]

Dating:

Show confidence, but don't be cocky. Fake it if you have to. A little (!!!) Insecurity can be endearing.

Don't be wishy washy. Have a plan for the date... dinner, movie, desert, drinks...

Ask them out in person. No texts, no notes, no Facebook, no phone calls.

While on the date, TALK. More importantly, LISTEN. Ask questions. Act interested. Smile. Flirt, but don't be crude.

Don't talk about your ex. Don't point out other hot guys. Don't bitch about your parents. Don't boast/inflate your abilities. Be honest. Laugh at his jokes. Give compliments. Graciously accept compliments, but don't fish for them.

Assuming you both had a good time, tell him you had a good time and greatly enjoyed his company. A steamy goodnight kiss is ok if he seems ready for it, but don't eat his face.

If you haven't yet, get his phone number. 8-12 hours after date call (not text) to reaffirm what a good time you had and plan your next date with a specific day/time.

[HumbleTangerine]

I'd prefer a first date to be simply grabbing a coffee somewhere. If you know the person well enough to know what some of their interests are, you could come up with something more exciting, but generally coffee is pretty good.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Dating:

Show confidence, but don't be cocky. Fake it if you have to. A little (!!!) Insecurity can be endearing.

Don't be wishy washy. Have a plan for the date... dinner, movie, desert, drinks...

Ask them out in person. No texts, no notes, no Facebook, no phone calls.

While on the date, TALK. More importantly, LISTEN. Ask questions. Act interested. Smile. Flirt, but don't be crude.

Don't talk about your ex. Don't point out other hot guys. Don't bitch about your parents. Don't boast/inflate your abilities. Be honest. Laugh at his jokes. Give compliments. Graciously accept compliments, but don't fish for them.

Assuming you both had a good time, tell him you had a good time and greatly enjoyed his company. A steamy goodnight kiss is ok if he seems ready for it, but don't eat his face.

If you haven't yet, get his phone number. 8-12 hours after date call (not text) to reaffirm what a good time you had and plan your next date with a specific day/time.

And if you are not this way, then what? Lie and act like you are this person until 6 months after you two have moved in and are trying to build an us?

Half the problem with relationships failing is that the day comes with the acting stops and the real person reveals themself to their partner.

Whatever happened to the basic notion of 'be yourself'?

I think I will stick with the tried and true club method. :tongue:

[ChadCoxRox]

Be yourself yes. But be a person who knows how to behave respectfully and considerately when appropriate. So I like both points for sure!

[Borg69]

And if you are not this way, then what? Lie and act like you are this person until 6 months after you two have moved in and are trying to build an us?

Half the problem with relationships failing is that the day comes with the acting stops and the real person reveals themself to their partner.

Whatever happened to the basic notion of 'be yourself'?

I think I will stick with the tried and true club method. :tongue:

You can be yourself AND be polite, attentive, confident (or at least not verbalizing your insecurities right off), honest, forward, and respectful.

If you don't have these qualities, your relationship probably isn't going to last long anyway.

Rude, disrespectful, self centered, insecure, wishy washy, inattentive guys generally aren't on the fast track to becoming "Mr. Right".

I'd also like to add, if you make a date, KEEP IT, and be ON TIME. Treat it like a job interview.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

So you are still telling me that deceit is a desired trait in potential mates amongst humans. Desired more than other traits like insecurity, rudeness, inattentiveness, lack of confidence.

You see nothing wrong in advising people to make the lie of omission (silence) about their character?

I fail to see how lying is a desired trait. I can't think of a single human being who gets all pissy when they discover that the person they have been dating has lied to them about who that person is.

I for one have tired of investing myself into situations where the product that has been presented is not the product I have bought.

I would prefer to know what I am getting into right from the start.

But then I'm also not looking for the perfect mate - I'm looking for one who won't beat the crap out of me, or do severe damage in the process.