Hi I'm a 20 year old student, new to the forum, and new to em liking guys?
I'm not sure what to say, theres this guy on my swim team.. uh not sure how much detail and stuff i should go into....
Help a guy out 
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Guy177 Wrote:Hi I'm a 20 year old student, new to the forum, and new to em liking guys?
I'm not sure what to say, theres this guy on my swim team.. uh not sure how much detail and stuff i should go into....
Help a guy out
How can we help you out? What is there you would be like to be able to do? Is it coming out? Or telling a guy you find him hot? Or wanting a relationship with him? or what? What are the signs you are catching from him, if any? How open do you want to be about your new orientation?
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Well I slept with the guy, but every time we have our encounters after our swim meets, we never talk about it, and he keeps saying he is straight.
I'm bi and I;m not sureif i want to have a relationship with him, but a part of me would be sad if he didn't want to at some point.I'm so attracted to him, its such an odd situation..I just dont know what to do generally.
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Guy177 Wrote:Well I slept with the guy, but every time we have our encounters after our swim meets, we never talk about it, and he keeps saying he is straight.
I'm bi and I;m not sureif i want to have a relationship with him, but a part of me would be sad if he didn't want to at some point.I'm so attracted to him, its such an odd situation..I just dont know what to do generally.
So you do this regularly, do you? Sleeping together, I mean (or having sex, whatever...). It's not unusual for men to call themselves straight when they obviously have some bisexual tendencies and / or partake in gay sex (man on man)... Probably he does not feel attracted to men on a romantic level, or maybe he's lying to himself, as so many have before him and will do after him.
It's sometimes easier just to think of yourself as straight when in fact you cannot yet admit that you are at least bisexual.
It's a strange world, but one in which we are still not really free to be whatever we want. Conditioning is very strong, even though it has become more acceptable to be gay and proclaim it these days.
Some men enjoy gay sex (because it's fun, or because they are curious about their limits) while still preferring to go the straight route of marrying and having children. They are only in it for the sex. And no commitment, no hassles, if possible.
Others will not want to perjure themselves to that extent and would rather come out from the closet and acknowledge their gay orientation. Unfortunately you cannot force anyone to go against their will in these matters.
I suppose all of this is really new to you, so it would explain why you are confused. The signs you are getting from your partner 'in crime' are not very engaging or encouraging.
Do you think you would be interested in a bit more than sex... something like a relationship, some romance?
What is it you'd like, for him to admit that he's having gay sex? that something is going on between you? that he is also confused? I think what doesn't help is that you are beginning to feel attracted to him in other ways than sexual ones. Am I right?
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Yeah I mean, I'm not sure, I've slept with three girls before him, he is the only guy I have ever been into.
I've never been in a long term relation before, so I'm not sure really.
I just think If he told me what he wants out of it, instead of just saying how great the sex was(and whatever else we do) Like if its just for the sex I'd be fine with that I think (he is so attractive, taller than me by like 2 inches, older than me by 2 years), its just so new to me...I'm still confused.
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Yeah we do it quite a bit after our swim meets, after nights out at the union.
Well I'm really attracted to him (he's two years older, works at the colleges sports centre, vice captain of our team, hes more mature looking than me, so hot)
Ive never had a long term relationship before, so I'm not sure if I want that at the moment, I just think I want to know if it has a definite end, or we might take it further one day, like how when I was younger and imagined getting married and having kids, you know happy ever after.
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Guy177 Wrote:Yeah we do it quite a bit after our swim meets, after nights out at the union.
Well I'm really attracted to him (he's two years older, works at the colleges sports centre, vice captain of our team, hes more mature looking than me, so hot)
Ive never had a long term relationship before, so I'm not sure if I want that at the moment, I just think I want to know if it has a definite end, or we might take it further one day, like how when I was younger and imagined getting married and having kids, you know happy ever after.
It could be that with all the maturity of your young ages, you are dealing with this more maturely than he is... so his looks won't help in the matter until his mind and heart begin to function as well.  . As is often the case, I should think talking might help, but you seem to find it difficult to break his shell open. Is he rather a taciturn sort of person?
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Well he's a fun guy, but keeps his emotional stuff to himself.
We just don't say morethan 10 words to each other when we are aloneand together.
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Guy177 Wrote:Well he's a fun guy, but keeps his emotional stuff to himself.
We just don't say morethan 10 words to each other when we are aloneand together.
The silent, quiet type.... Oooooooh deeply attractive. lol. Enjoy yourselves then, and no one can stop you starting the talking...
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Thanks for like listening, It helped.I'll talk to him, can't hurt.
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