Out for a year now!

[50Plus]

You could consider marketing it as a print.

I like the message that it conveys to me. Then again, that is from the John perspective. Others likely do to, but not in the exact same way.

[Virge]

Ha! I've never been to jail before, nor do I plan to be, I keep my nose clean by picking out the bad stuff (like you do I guess).

LOL! GOOD! There's a lot of pleasure in keeping your nose clean.

[cftxp]

True, making prints might do it for me, and I'm liking the John perspective to be honest with you.

And meme....



Definitely.

[Virge]

True, making prints might do it for me, and I'm liking the John perspective to be honest with you.

And meme....



Definitely.

Chris... If I had a tongue as long as that giraffe's my BF would never let me out of his sight... or let me use it to lick my nose.

[Charon]

I never came "out" as I never was "in". This, of course, was during the late Truman early Eisenhower years and so there really wasn't that distinction. When I told my family they smiled, as one does when you're preparing to indulge a child, and said, "No, you're not. You don't even know what a homosexual is." As happened I did but if that made them happy, I indulged them. For four years until I took my first lover at age 13. Apparently they then realized I did know what a homosexual is. To their infinite credit, until they died, the men in my life, and there were only four, were as welcome in their home as was I. Indeed, I didn't even need to be there. Robert, number three, was an avid golfer as was my father so there was a bond....and my father introduced him in the locker room at the country club as exactly who he was adding, oh, he's my sons partner. I'm sure there were some shocked people but as virtually everyone who knew us knew, shock was not widely observed.

Here's the thing I despise about FaceBook ; However private you may think it is, it's not. Nothing put into the electronic ether ever goes away and FB is particularly good at not keeping secrets. You can have a firewall of privacy that you think will deflect a lava flow and...you'd be wrong. This goes for meeting people and commencing an electronic romance. Until you've looked them in the eye, it's not a romance it's an expanded flirtation. It's dangerous for just as you think they are lying to you about whatever, they feel the same way about you. Yes, I've read all the stories about how loved bloomed and I'm happy for them. None-the-less, I'm old and old fashioned; I want to meet the guy and get to know him a bit before we do much more than a really satisfying hug. I'm building up to that-yes, in my antiquity-just now. BUT....I didn't meet him on face book. So for all of you who are looking for love on line, good luck and be very careful. There are exceptions. I have a great friend who lives in the Australian outback two hundred miles from the nearest town, Newman (I'll understand if you've never heard of it) and his only contact is via the internet. But even then, he's cautious. As he's said, where he is "poofters" aren't accepted and he could end up with his nuts in his mouth.....and that could be caused by an injudicious word on the internet.

[CellarDweller]

Happy Anniversary!

[wayward]

I literally had the shittiest weekend imaginable! My phone and all of my ID suddenly went missing and after looking for hours inside the house only did I realize that it was all LOST! So if anyone is asking, my fourth of July weekend sucked....

Then yesterday came like a godsend, it happens that I dropped my phone at the hospital where my mom works and I just had to go there to get everything (never again will I trust phone case wallets). I was so excited about finally having my shit together that I forgot it's literally been a year since I "came out."

You see, I came out to everyone on Facebook. If you think that isn't a big deal, well, almost all of my friends from both middle school and high school had me as friends there. But being the mostly passive-aggressive naive fool I've always been, I waited until it literally killed me inside to say anything about myself. So of course, when I came out, I was pretty feisty at the least.

Here's an excerpt since the internet keeps records forever anyway.

"I'm sorry to say this, but the reason why I don't usually post on my timeline on Facebook or on your walls is because I don't feel like anyone cares. I know that I keep up this persona where I act like I'm either okay with things or at least not violent but the fact that I'm almost never noticed tears me up inside knowing that I really do care so much for others. Unfortunately, yeah, it's true, I can't really show that I do care because I have no idea how. My therapist told me that I should be more social (when I was still seeking his help) but I've honestly been too afraid to ask. I know I'm not "normal" by any means (since I have a PDD and my sexuality happens to be an issue to many) and if you've seen me before you know I'm not actually an attractive person and if you know me - I'm also not a very social person, but I really am sick and tired of having to "accept" things are how they are and I will admit, I need friends once in a while, but I've always been too afraid and I hate it."

Keep in mind, that's 8 years in the closet (I found out that I was gay over the summer before my 12th birthday), years of being stared at because of my off-putting appearance, and an autism diagnosis (PDD is the diagnostic name for it) all being poured out into one hyper-sensitive and emotional post - man, I let myself get totally fucked up back then.... and I'm still a virgin!

What's powerful is that many of my friends welcomed my confession. Here's the thing, I live in Texas, not the big city part, but the quiet homophobic suburban part. And yet, they seemed to embrace it, even the ones who I went to my devoutly Christian middle school with, especially the ones who actually took their faith seriously!

It's almost strange to me that it has been a year already. I mean, it was just last week when I realized the power I had as a human being who was true to himself, but a year in the making and I'm definitely a better man (I'm pretty sure a 20 year old can be a man). The strange thing is after reading some of my poetry, one of my professors within the past year told me that one day, I'll look back at that stuff and be like "WTF!" Okay, paraphrased. But she was right, and the level of personal growth I've had over the course of one year is strange to me, especially since I KNOW I have way more to go in both years and experiences - I just hope that the future holds some pretty damn happy ones this time since I really want to think that I obliterated my closet for good. On the bright side, I'm pretty sure I could tell extremist evangelicals and their empty threats that I've already been through hell thanks to people like them.

I only share this because I think it's important to let others know the story behind who you are as a person. Besides, not many people know what it's like to be "Chris", at least not this "Chris" in particular.

And um, this will be the absolute final time you will see this painting, I was forced to change it again:

Before.



After.



My friend said I outgayed myself, I mean I did essentially have to eliminate most of the straight lines in it. But I think I'm fine with this, I don't plan on spending another second on it.... I'm putting my brush down!

cftxp; Thank you for sharing your story. I can draw parallels between your life and mine. Not to be comparative or complaining, I've gone through a lot of ostracism, evangelist (verbal) assault, familial intolerance. My parents are okay with me thankfully.

I also have autism. I want to say you are not bad looking. at least no more than I am. I'll update my profile picture with an honest representation.

Also, I am an aspiring poet, which made me exclaim in surprise. I've received some acclaim from a few people, though I hope to be working more regularly in my art.

Best of wishes Chris. I do hope to interact more with you if that's welcome.

[cftxp]

Thanks Cellar and Wayward! (I feel awkward addressing people by usernames.... ugh)

As it sounds, we do have a lot in common, though my parents still aren't exactly okay with it (though they don't come clean about that either) but they're better than they were 8 years ago.

Back to this, strangely enough, we both have facial hair and autism. Looks good!

I'd really like to read some of your poetry (if you've already published it or are open to doing so). Best of luck to your works too, hopefully you will find the time and opportunities to advance in it!

And of course further interaction is definitely welcome.