For those who ask about finding love while staying in the closet

[Iceblink]

This appeared a few hours ago on the Facebook page of Humans of New York. Heartbreaking and something to think about.



"We were twenty-five and twenty-eight, but we acted like fifteen year olds. Fighting over little things, storming off, breaking up for a week and then getting back together. But developmentally, we were fifteen year olds. We'd been in the closet our whole lives, so we didn't have any practice with relationships. He still hadn't come out to his family and a lot of his friends. We were on one of our 'little breaks' when he died suddenly from a seizure. And nobody in his family or circle knew I existed. It took me four months to find out that he died. I thought he'd just decided never to talk to me again. His family never found out about me. Or him, for that matter."

https://www.facebook.com/humansofnewyork...=1&theater

[ChadCoxRox]

poignant for sure...
I always enjoy the bittersweet most of all.

[Bluelight]

That is sad, and kind of crazy...

I'm always afraid of getting serious with a guy who's family won't accept me, I can't imagine what it would be like to be banned from a loved one's funeral, god forbid all those layers of misfortune should overlap.

[deepu69]

Sad. So many barriers for same sex partners to overcome...

[Bhp91126]

I'm so happy that in many countries teenagers already can come out and experience dating, falling in love, lust and crushes and not stay behind their straight friends who experience all of that before college.

And I'm very sad for all people who live in countries where coming out is dangerous.

[JimmyEcho]

This is sad, there was this cool guy at the pub we hung out at.
He got into a car accident and was in the hospital. His family and straight friends new, but we didn't find out for 3 weeks. (I was kinda angry about this)

[OkayOkay]

Yeah...I saw this earlier. Sad stuff.

I was in a similar situation with a close friend of mine. He wasn't out to his family members, so they knew nothing of me (not even a name). When he got sick, I was able to find out about what was going on with him thanks to his straight friends.

I went to the hospital to see him while he was in ICU, and met his parents for the first time. It was awkward as hell introducing myself to the parents of someone who was very important to me for over ten years! I loved and cared about him so much, but at the same time I was pissed that he never told his parents anything about me because he wanted to keep that part of his life hidden. It just breaks my heart that if it weren't for his straight friends, I would have not been contacted or been able to see him before he died. It's all over and done with, and I don't really hold it against him...but it hurt almost as much as him dying.

staying in the closet hurts. It doesn't always reveal itself immediately, but the consequences always make an appearance in some form.

[East]

That is heartbreaking...I think he was brave to share his story and I hope it will help other people who might read it so something good will come of it.

Our best friend couple who go together around the same time we did moved away many years ago and I hadn't heard from them in awhile and found out that they had a car accident where one of them had died at the scene and the other had been in a coma for months and had to learn to walk and talk again...and he had his home and all his belonging stripped by his lover's family who refused to acknowledge him even though they saw his name on everything. He didn't know his lover had died until he woke up....

[OkayOkay]

OMG...that is horrible. ^ I can't even imagine.

Have you been in touch with him since then? how is he doing?

[East]

OMG...that is horrible. ^ I can't even imagine.

Have you been in touch with him since then? how is he doing?

I was in touch with him for awhile during his recovery via phone and Facebook but haven't touched base since I left Facebook. A mutual friend told me a few months ago that he had talked to him and he was doing better.