Rewriting The Old Scripts...
07-25-2014, 11:58 PM
Last night I was at my best friend's house. His husband is out of town for work and his son was sick, an I was trying to help by getting his other child bathed and into bed. I called my BF and said that I'd be about an hour late getting home. He hung up on me before I could explain why.
We're in couples therapy, and our therapist has been talking about the need to rewrite our old scripts. She says that we need to identify conversations that seem to happen over and over with no resolution, and find positive ways to alter the dialogue.
So I walked in, and my BF started with, Maybe you'd be happier if I just left, you could spend all your time with him. Is that what you want, for me to leave? Threatening to leave is his go-to response whenever I do something he doesn't like. The way it's supposed to work is, I'm supposed to tell him that of course I don't want him to leave, and on and on - but I was exhausted and stressed, and what I said was, I really don't give a shit. And walked away.
A few minutes later he came up to me and said, You didn't really mean that, right? You're just trying to...rewrite the script?
And we looked at each other and I don't know why, but we both started laughing and all of a sudden it was all good. So this thread isn't about anything much, just that things have been so difficult between us for so long that it was amazing to have a moment when we were so perfectly in tune.
We're in couples therapy, and our therapist has been talking about the need to rewrite our old scripts. She says that we need to identify conversations that seem to happen over and over with no resolution, and find positive ways to alter the dialogue.
So I walked in, and my BF started with, Maybe you'd be happier if I just left, you could spend all your time with him. Is that what you want, for me to leave? Threatening to leave is his go-to response whenever I do something he doesn't like. The way it's supposed to work is, I'm supposed to tell him that of course I don't want him to leave, and on and on - but I was exhausted and stressed, and what I said was, I really don't give a shit. And walked away.
A few minutes later he came up to me and said, You didn't really mean that, right? You're just trying to...rewrite the script?
And we looked at each other and I don't know why, but we both started laughing and all of a sudden it was all good. So this thread isn't about anything much, just that things have been so difficult between us for so long that it was amazing to have a moment when we were so perfectly in tune.
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