They Don't Know He's Gay Yet

[nafalee]

My cousin came out to me a few days ago. Our families grew up in the same town and live very close to each other so I see him and his family on a regular basis-almost everyday. I had wondered in the past if he was gay but never really gave it much thought and figured if he was, great, if he wasn't, thats great too; his sexuality was really none of my business and I didn't want to pry. Just a few days ago I was the first person he came out to and I was happy that he trusted me; I'm really supportive of him and want to help him with coming out to everyone else when he feels he is ready and comfortable to do so in a few years. I know that when my family finds out, we will all be supportive and understanding after a bit of a surprise. The only thing I don't know how to handle is his family. My aunt, uncle, and other cousins (his siblings) are all homophobic-to a degree. His brothers and sister often make gay jokes and ask me "Is he gay," or "Is he 'talking' to someone and if it is a boy" and things of the like. I think they all know that he's gay on some level, but i'm not sure which of them would come to terms with it the best.
I am going to keep my cousin's sexuality a secret until he is ready to share it with his own family, but now that I know that he is indeed gay I don't know how to answer their jokes and questions. I know that its necessary, but I still don't like lying to them. Do I go ahead and tell them that he is straight and likes girls if they ask? Or should I be more vague? Or tell them to ask him themselves? I definitely do not want to accidentally out him to his family, but I don't know how to react to their jokes and questions. Please help.

[Iceblink]

If they ask you if he is gay, just say,"It is none of my business and it is also none of your business." Also, let them know their jokes are not funny.

[LJay]

Good advice, Iceblink. It isn't the business of everyone to know everything, even within a family. Though I have always known not to do so, it has always been a temptation to return one of these questions from a nosy older family member with something like, "Tell me, do you have a favorite position for having your ass eaten?" Unfortunately, some people never see that they are being just as offensive by prying.