07-15-2014, 08:43 PM
So I'm dating a wonderful guy for almost 6 months. He's very gentle, caring person and we're in love. He's 19 and I'm 22 years old. He comes from very religious family, they're all Christian. It was extremely hard for him to admit that he's gay and he still hasn't fully accepted it, I guess. I'm not religious myself, however I do my best to help him accept the fact that God obviously created gay people as well as straight ones. He knows all the commandments by heart, sometimes it even seems that he knows all the Bible by heart.
The thing is that it's messing with our sex life. He has quite strict parents who apparently raised him as pure as possible. This thing "sex is bad, sex is evil, sex is sin" is programmed into his head so deeply that I'm not sure what to do about it. I don't know how to get out of his head this belief that he has been taught all his life that sex is only ok between spouses ( heterosexual ones, of course) and in any other case it's a sin. He's a virgin and when I asked, he said he has never even masturbated. I was actually so surprised about it because I was sure every guy does it and he was like "no, I've never do it". When I asked why he said that it's bad and God doesn't want people to do it. He is so faithful to all this Christian stuff that he really believes is true.
Another thing is that he's somehow afraid of his feelings with me in bed. One evening we got quite far with cuddling, I was pleasantly surprised that he let me and I started fondling his penis and jerk him off. Then I noticed that he's kind of trying to fight with what he feels. All the time he was poker faced, quiet, gritted his teeth, as if he was trying to not let himself to enjoy it, to hide that he's feeling pleasure. When I asked does it feel good, he just hid his face in the pillow. I know it did feel good for him and I wasn't expecting him to scream or anything, but he didn't even utter a sound, not a single moan, not even when he ejaculated. After that he told me he's ashamed about what we did.
It's all just because of this stupid religion, because he was taught it's wrong to enjoy these things. Sometimes I wish to just go to his parents and scream at them for what they have done to their son. They don't know he's gay though. I asked him if he's sure he's gay, he says he is. He always apologizes to me for not being good enough for me, but I don't blame him. It's actually his family's fault. I just don't know how to help him, how to show that he shouldn't be ashamed to make love with me?
The thing is that it's messing with our sex life. He has quite strict parents who apparently raised him as pure as possible. This thing "sex is bad, sex is evil, sex is sin" is programmed into his head so deeply that I'm not sure what to do about it. I don't know how to get out of his head this belief that he has been taught all his life that sex is only ok between spouses ( heterosexual ones, of course) and in any other case it's a sin. He's a virgin and when I asked, he said he has never even masturbated. I was actually so surprised about it because I was sure every guy does it and he was like "no, I've never do it". When I asked why he said that it's bad and God doesn't want people to do it. He is so faithful to all this Christian stuff that he really believes is true.
Another thing is that he's somehow afraid of his feelings with me in bed. One evening we got quite far with cuddling, I was pleasantly surprised that he let me and I started fondling his penis and jerk him off. Then I noticed that he's kind of trying to fight with what he feels. All the time he was poker faced, quiet, gritted his teeth, as if he was trying to not let himself to enjoy it, to hide that he's feeling pleasure. When I asked does it feel good, he just hid his face in the pillow. I know it did feel good for him and I wasn't expecting him to scream or anything, but he didn't even utter a sound, not a single moan, not even when he ejaculated. After that he told me he's ashamed about what we did.
It's all just because of this stupid religion, because he was taught it's wrong to enjoy these things. Sometimes I wish to just go to his parents and scream at them for what they have done to their son. They don't know he's gay though. I asked him if he's sure he's gay, he says he is. He always apologizes to me for not being good enough for me, but I don't blame him. It's actually his family's fault. I just don't know how to help him, how to show that he shouldn't be ashamed to make love with me?