Rewriting The Scripts...
07-30-2014, 11:17 PM
Back when I was younger and a lot stupider I did about the same thing Adam's Hubby did. I did what was explained to me later as being "escalating a situation in order to control it."
I'd gone to see my guy and all he was doing was griping about school, his job, insects, me and anything else that set him off. I finally went to the living room to pout and and said "if that's the way you're gonna be I'll just go back home."
about 90 seconds later a paper sack came flying out of the kitchen, hit me and busted open making a mess with a mashed up sandwich, crackers, and some fruit. I looked up wondering what the hell was going on and saw a smart ass grinning at me "I made ya a fukkin bag lunch if you're going but I'd rather you'd stay and learn to listen to me bitch."
I learned a lot that day. Big Lessons.
1. It's "one case of emotional nutso at a time" in a relationship. Someone has to hold on to the steering wheel at all times or things go off the road.
2. How to listen without reacting on spontaneous emotions. It's NEAT AS HECK to have him blow up and say something that pisses me off but rather than huff up I just grab him in a hug and let him cuss and smack me at close range. My anger is gone in 5 seconds.
3. It eventually evolves into not being able to stay angry more than 30 seconds because the other person IS NOT GOING TO RESPOND WITH ANGER... One good outburst from me.....and I'm looking at a goofy smile and hear, "do ya wanna sit down and talk about this or go to your room?"
Dude.... stick with what's working right and remember you're on the same team.
I'd gone to see my guy and all he was doing was griping about school, his job, insects, me and anything else that set him off. I finally went to the living room to pout and and said "if that's the way you're gonna be I'll just go back home."
about 90 seconds later a paper sack came flying out of the kitchen, hit me and busted open making a mess with a mashed up sandwich, crackers, and some fruit. I looked up wondering what the hell was going on and saw a smart ass grinning at me "I made ya a fukkin bag lunch if you're going but I'd rather you'd stay and learn to listen to me bitch."
I learned a lot that day. Big Lessons.
1. It's "one case of emotional nutso at a time" in a relationship. Someone has to hold on to the steering wheel at all times or things go off the road.
2. How to listen without reacting on spontaneous emotions. It's NEAT AS HECK to have him blow up and say something that pisses me off but rather than huff up I just grab him in a hug and let him cuss and smack me at close range. My anger is gone in 5 seconds.
3. It eventually evolves into not being able to stay angry more than 30 seconds because the other person IS NOT GOING TO RESPOND WITH ANGER... One good outburst from me.....and I'm looking at a goofy smile and hear, "do ya wanna sit down and talk about this or go to your room?"
Dude.... stick with what's working right and remember you're on the same team.
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