Gay Myths

[MikeW]

Awesome post, PIX. Best laugh I've had all day

[Virge]

I can't decorate, or cook, or sew. I have no fashion sense/style. Can't dance, can't sing. I've never worked in retail. I don't like martinis. ... and I can't deep throat.
Damn... I'm a loser!

I sympathize Borg......
But I have learned to peel and eat a banana with no hands even while topping...
My mother defines my home as looking like a 19th century rodeo whorehouse. I can't dance but I can sing pretty good when I'm inspired and shitty when I'm in the mood to do Audio S&M on an audience of drunks. My man is giving me a fashion rehab and threw out all but 2 pair of my overalls and every flannel shirt with holes in it. I have more long johns and jock straps than boxers or bikini briefs.

I can't sew, but I can tie flies... and stitch small wounds with fishing line.... But I do know how to tan deerhide and wish I had a pair of suede sheets out of all the skins I have.

I can cook some hellacioiusly wild foods but I'll never get on the Cooking Channel. My version of a daquiri blender is a 3 or 10 gallon igloo water cooler and my drill with a 16 inch industrial paint stirrer. I have more wrenches than steak knives. Place mats at the table are cedar 16 inch cedar shingles. I own a bobcat front end loader with all the attachments and have an aluminum building off the driveway full of spare parts for all my vehicles.

And I'm addicted to CRACK.

As for that list of eight 50+ gave..... it only scratches the surface.

[dynamodean]

I've had straight folks tell me I don't act or look gay enough to be bi, and gay folks tell me I don't act straight enough to be bi. WTF?!

I like to shop sometimes but don't drag me along on your endless sprees at the mall. I care about the way I look but I won't spend half an hour getting ready. I can tell you how I think you look in your new clothes but stop expecting me to have some magical fashion gene inside me. Just because I like fruity drinks and Smirnoff Ice, doesn't mean I like your apple martinis or Bloody Marys. I can be handy with simple arts and crafts but don't expect me to sew or build a gingerbread house with you. Sorry if I appear to be too straight or gay for your preconceived notions. Stop judging me and placing me in a convenient little box.

End rant.

[Virge]

[COLOR="Red"]↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑
Can I get a thank you button that will let me dispense them in quantities from 1 to 10???
Dynamodean deserves at least 8 for that.[/COLOR]

[Buzzer]

[COLOR="Red"]↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑
Can I get a thank you button that will let me dispense them in quantities from 1 to 10???
Dynamodean deserves at least 8 for that.[/COLOR]

Buy him some lychee online instead, it's his favorite food.

[HumbleTangerine]

Well, when I came out, a lot of the girls in my class wanted to take me shopping and kept asking me which guys were cute, if I had a crush on someone etc.? Of course I never did any of those things.

[jaxc]

That it's a "scientific fact"( coming from someone who thinks evolution is a bunch of hogwash, my dad) that gays & lesbians come from either not having a father figure in there life or from being molested as a child, boy I can't wait to prove him wrong on this:biggrin:

[bilkiba]

I've had straight folks tell me I don't act or look gay enough to be bi, and gay folks tell me I don't act straight enough to be bi. WTF?!

I like to shop sometimes but don't drag me along on your endless sprees at the mall. I care about the way I look but I won't spend half an hour getting ready. I can tell you how I think you look in your new clothes but stop expecting me to have some magical fashion gene inside me. Just because I like fruity drinks and Smirnoff Ice, doesn't mean I like your apple martinis or Bloody Marys. I can be handy with simple arts and crafts but don't expect me to sew or build a gingerbread house with you. Sorry if I appear to be too straight or gay for your preconceived notions. Stop judging me and placing me in a convenient little box.

End rant.

This so MUCH.

People (mostly straight folks) tend not to believe that I'm into guys at all because I'm "too boyish" and "obviously a lesbian."

But this reminds me of another one I hate.

People who use us bis as "proof" that you can choose your sexuality. "Oh you're with a man now, so you're straight now." "Oh now you're with a girl so you're gay again." Actually, no, I have been bi the whole time, asshat. -.-

[MikeW]

Gee, I wish I were witty. Still trying to imagine a 19th century rodeo whorehouse. Not to mention that banana peeling trick. :redface:

[Buzzer]

That it's a "scientific fact"( coming from someone who thinks evolution is a bunch of hogwash, my dad) that gays & lesbians come from either not having a father figure in there life or from being molested as a child, boy I can't wait to prove him wrong on this:biggrin:

I heard that one a lot, too. It always perplexed me because people would say it even knowing full well that my dad was in the picture, and he and my mom are still married today. (Unlike the huge majority of my friends, including all of my straight friends.)