My Often- Dear-Friend and Sometimes-Partner-In-Crime, memeNose, keeps asking for Kid-Threads...not sure if this is what he had in mind...
A little while ago, I got back from a quick trip to the grocery store. Ty, our 3 year old was watching a kid vid, my BF was sitting across the room talking to our friend Danny. I mentioned Danny in another thread. He and his husband are divorcing, and accusations are flying fast and furious. My BF insists that there's no way Ty could have heard their conversation...
Ty followed me into the kitchen, prattling on about this and that while I put the groceries away. I was half listening until I heard, "Danny's mad cuz Joey had a threesome. What's a threesome? It sounds bad."
I am nothing if not wonderfully inventive. I told him, "That's would be like if you and Annie and Kat were playing together, but Annie only paid attention to Kat and not to you." ( I KNOW it doesn't make any sense, cut me some slack here!)
Ty was pretty indignant at the idea, and he says he's going to tell Annie on Monday that she better not ever ask him to have a threesome. I can only hope he'll tell her in front of her Easy-Going-Sense-Of-Humor-Mom instead if her Uptight-Play-By-The-Rules-Mom.
They never taught us this stuff in parenting classes...
lol If that was me in your situation, I probably would've lied.
"No, son, I think you misheard what Danny said. Danny's mad cuz of Joey's treason." And then proceeded to explain to him what treason was. He'll forget the word threesome because he just got introduced to another (new) word. It still would've made sense in the context of what Joey did to Danny's trust, you know?
Adam ----- you know kids have this secret power to transform adults into mushy OCD idiots... I envy you. You can bitch about the responsibilities.... but so what? All it takes is one magic moment with one kid to make the responsibilites seem like nothing.
Anyone who thinks they will never want to be parents ought to see the JLo Alex O'Loughlin movie, "The Backup Plan." All of us have that capacity inside us and sooner or later it's going to jump up and grab you by the neck.
Kids are the real shit as far as I'm concerned. I think a lot of it goes back to having a brother 10 years older than me who was like the coolest babysitter, party buddy and partner in crime. He took me on his dates with girls, to his sports practices, clothes shopping and when he went to college would come get me and take me back to hang out in a University of Wisconsin frat house during the summer (imagine a ten year old in the movie Animal House)
So..... As I have become AN OLD MAN the need to be a nurturer has really kicked in --- modeled on the relationship with my brother. He and his wife have two great girls now 13 and 11..... but four years ago they had an accident and popped out a baby boy.... and pretty much I am his real life super hero. hahahhaha.
When they come to town to visit the folks Chase is done with them in ten minutes and is ready to come stay at my house!!!!! LOL.... and he huffs up about it if anyone tries to talk him out of it. I break all the rules of parenting and send my brother, mother & sister in law into spasms. My dad is one of those guys who never loses his cool about anything and just laffs.
So Chase was here in May when Jay was here with me and his parents and granny were staying with my parents --- crowded house so Chase and his sisters came to stay with me and Jay. The girls learned to trick out with my front end loader, play sniper with my souped up pellet gun shooting starlings (bad evil birds) go on dates with my straight room mate!!!! (to give me and Jay quality time) But Chase wouldn't let me and Jay out of his sight... except for naps and bedtime --- in the middle of our bed.
So... we made the whole thing fun --- the type of fun a 4 year old would rather have than going to friggin Disneyworld. I couldn't find any laws against it... so... I loaded him me and Jay on my motorcycle and went cruising nearly everyday --- with Chase sitting in front of me like he was Mister Biker going 60 mph. When we came up at my parents house like that everyone of the "adults" had eye bulge syndrome. LOL. My little Chase-man, in his black leather jacket and customized helmet acted like he was a tough hells angel and had them all cracking up. When we started eating his mom asked what he wanted to drink. He said, "coke... in a beer mug."
So.... after a couple of days around Jay Chase was talking like an Australian and Jay was teaching him all the goofy slang they have. So Chase thinks he's all grown up and too big to be babied... which is understandable... My mother kissed hmi on the cheek. He wiped it off, looking annoyed and said, "I don't snog anymore."
And the funniest thing was him catching me and Jay kissing in the kitchen. He looked up as he headed to the back door and mumbled, "you guys need to get married and quit dating so you won't have to snog anymore."
So.... imagine this little fart in the middle of the bed between us for five nights. Up until then Jay was pretty iffy and uncertain about kids. He kept me awake every night talking about us hypothetically having kids... how many... who'd stay home the most with them... changing diapers (he's never done it) ... alllllllllllllllllll that shit... I played it cool and let him ramble on and on and on knowing what he was doing was talking himself into being a daddy....
We'd already agreed we wouldn't have kids until 2022, eight years away. That sounded sensible and good.
Guess who's doing all the talking about 8 years maybe being too far away? He's even started trawling kids toys on the internet... and being amazed at all the neat shit they get to play with...
I'm playing it cool and not telling him I'm ready to have a rug rat-posse to hang out with... we have a lot to do before that happens... but it's going to happen.
Daddy, What's ATthreesome...?
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