memechose Wrote:The lesson learned >>>> I took out my frustrations with person A on person B.It's a lesson we all need to learn.
And I'm a dumb ass for doing it.
We could all ALSO benefit by getting beyond the way we've been taught to divide ourselves and one another up into 'boxes', especially around our sexuality.
Look, basically it is like this (the world according to MikeW):
Guys are pretty much hard-wired to enjoy getting their rocks off. This serves all sorts of functions, biological, psychological, emotional, possibly even spiritual. It's also very 'fluid'; what gets one guys rocks off isn't necessarily what gets another guys rocks off. And it can change (at least somewhat) through time. It's a spectrum that shimmers rather than a hard and fast fixed 'set' of potentials.
Now, unfortunately our 'hard wiring' is subverted and largely oppressed by the society we're born into. Getting one's rocks off is largely a 'taboo'. Exactly why isn't so important, the fact is we all grow up with these 'inhibiting social factors' that tie us up into all kinds of knots.
In our current era society has developed "boxes" with labels to put all this into: What's acceptable, what's not, what *might be* with whom and when, etc. We're all trying to understand ourselves and one another by putting ourselves and each other in the boxes society has given us.
Thing is, truth is, the boxes are just that; concepts, labels, ideas--realms of the socially produced mind. They don't necessarily correspond very much with the underlying fact that guys just like to get their rocks off.
Now, of course, it *does* get more complicated *because* 'getting one's rocks off' is a purely sexual thing. But we human beings are not just purely sexual. We also have feelings, emotions, and needs to 'bond' with others--and the sexual instinct to 'get our rocks off' is apart of that, too. It can sometimes take us a long time to figure out that there is nothing wrong with 'getting our rocks off' in whatever way and with whomever we want BUT that, that's just one piece of the puzzle. The best isn't just pleasuring ourselves and one another on the physical level alone. The best is when we really begin to mutually get under one another's skin and really love, care for and want to spend our lives with the 'other' (who or whatever he or she or whatever third gender we don't have a pronoun for may be).
I'm a firm believer that everyone should have all the fun they can stand with the caveat that 'fun' isn't all there is to it.