my country is very religious country where being gay is against the law and against our religion and when it comes to being gay the society sees it as a bad thing (most of them). I don't want to leave this country because I love the country (no tax, free medical, free education and etc.) and my family.
I came out earlier this year to my closest friends and cousins but not my family.
Because of this sometimes I have a suicidal thoughts. I am kind of lost and don't know what to do?
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Will: If you've decided to continue living there, then you need to figure out how you can have the best possible life. It appears that you'll need to remain closeted to most people - but that doesn't mean that you can't find a partner - it will be more difficult, sure, but not impossible.
Suicide is not an option. You need to push those thoughts aside and get down to constructing a life that has purpose, meaning and fulfillment.
And yes, I know it's easy for me to say that - sorry if it seems that I don't get the difficulties you face, I do --- BUT there's an old saying that I like, "Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can".
I wish you all the best. Don't hesitate to post here when things get overwhelming and you get discouraged. People care and want to help.
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It is difficult indeed. However, you need to keep going. Learn to be happy with yourself and wait for the miracle.
That is what drives many of us..
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I agree with Will as well. And I really like that saying (note to self, need to write that one down...)
"Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can"
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