Hello~

[BlueStar]

Thank you all for your support! It really does mean a good deal to know there are people out in the world that can empathize with my situation. It's been really hard trying to push through all of my problems alone, but I've realized recently that that's really no way to live. I'm afraid that I've become an enigma to other people and that I have become selfish in my relationships, expecting everyone else to understand me and to support me without me asking or reciprocating.

My sister tells me I act like I'm autistic in some regard, and I agree with her to an extent, but mainly in the sense that I have trouble making my opinions/feelings palatable to other people. So if I seem hostile in my posts (I will try very hard not to be) it is not because I am being aggressive. It is because I am a robot~

Once again, thank you all and I hope you all won't just be able to help me, but maybe I will be able to help some of you in return!

Also, there is no reason to walk on eggshells around me! I am very resilient and know how to take sarcasm! How else do you think I'd last this long?

I hope you'll stay long here and get everything off your chest. When I first joined this site my feelings were similar to yours, and for my part I can tell I don't just read, but feel with what I'm reading. No you're not a robot, you're someone special, but it's just that you don't give away your trust easily. I'm like that too. I understand being an enigma isn't easy at all, it will eventually bring you the loneliness peace you thought would make you happy, then it leaves you dying slowly in your invisible cage. Try to become more open with those friendly to you, and stay enigmatic only to your enemies or those you can't get along with.

I hope this advice of mine was useful. Have hope and smile