What to do?

[Radbot42]

So anyone hear that has read my last two topics knows that I recently got out of a relationship.

I decided to open up my dating profile, I just wanted to open it up and change my status to single. I left it alone, but yesterday a cute guy started talking with me. I did not want to be rude, and we have been getting along really well.

The thing is he reminds me of my first ex that dumped me because of the distance. He could not take it, and as far as I know the distance was the only reason we broke up. I over think things and well that led me to my exes page on facebook. I found out that he lives slightly closer to me now, about a third of the distance we used to be.

I told the new guy I'm talking to early on that I do not know what I am looking for, because I don't. I'm not sure I want a relationship at this time being newly out of one, and I'm apparently not over my first ex. I'm really tempted to text my ex to see what is going on with him. I keep telling myself not to, but I'm afraid I might. Being the dumpee I feel like the dumper should be the first one to contact you if they want to get back in touch.

Wow I feel messed up right now. And just a few days ago I was mildly okay.

[CellarDweller]

don't text him. If you do you'll only be ripping the scab off a wound that's not healed yet, and the bleeding will start again.

Maybe you need more time before starting a new relationship.

[Radbot42]

I completely agree with you. I had a freak out moment and have cooled down a bit. I'm not over my ex, and I have other things I need to do before I start a new relationship. I plan on telling this new guy that I need to work on myself and am hoping we become friends. He is a really cool guy, and I could use more friends.

I definitely need to get a job and move out of my parents house. I feel like I've turned into that pathetic loser that lives in their parent basement. At least I am interning.

[BlueStar]

Nice decisions. A new relationship doesn't always begin all of a sudden. Start taking actions of your plans and tell this guy about your situation in general. Give it time

[Radbot42]

now I just need to stop getting distracted. I keep on getting distracted by shows, video games and other things. I also get easily distracted even as I'm interning which makes it hard for me to stay on task.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I completely agree with you. I had a freak out moment and have cooled down a bit. I'm not over my ex, and I have other things I need to do before I start a new relationship. I plan on telling this new guy that I need to work on myself and am hoping we become friends. He is a really cool guy, and I could use more friends.

I definitely need to get a job and move out of my parents house. I feel like I've turned into that pathetic loser that lives in their parent basement. At least I am interning.

And you are putting yourself on the dating scene because....... :confused:

You need to understand your reasoning for wanting to be in a relationship, then go from there. Get an idea of why this feels important and what your real motive for being in an 'us' is.

I think you should take this experience and your feelings and reevaluate opening yourself up to dating. Learn from the lessons of life as they happen.

I'll tell you right now no matter what you say or how you say it, chances are pretty high this guy will think you are just playing games. Don't be too hopeful that a friendship will come of this. I'm not saying you shouldn't try, I'm just warning you to not have high expectations here.

With such internet stuff as 'cat-fishing' being so well known, the believability factor on the net is in decline.

As for job, moving out of the cellar, whatever - be reasonable about it.

Seems to me you are beating yourself up over things which may not have easy, one size fits all solutions.

The economy currently sucks, with long range forecast of suckiness and more sucking for a longish period of time to come. Thus the reality is that you most likely will not change these sorts of things in the short term.

Can't blame yourself if you can't find a job because there are no jobs.

Too many people are still unemployed and are kicking their own ass as if it is something wrong with them when its just something wrong with the world's economy.