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09-30-2014, 06:04 AM

Hello guys!
I'm looking for some advice on a guy I just met.
I recently started using these random chat websites where gay people can talk to each other via webcam, you know a big bunch of horny men. I used to find this inappropriate but once I started, I couldn't stop. Now I've been using this website for a while, but yesterday I skyped with someone a year older than me in my own neighborhood. Things led to us giving each other phone numbers and agreeing to meet later. The thing is I'm not sure if I should give him a shot or maybe worry a little (I mean he is after all a total stranger). Although he's the one who gave his phone number first and asked for this to be a secret, I can't stop but doubting whether I should do this or not. He said he isn't gay but is curious about men and wants to have an "experience". What do you guys think? Am I overthinking this? Should I go have fun or worry for myself?

09-30-2014, 09:17 AM

I think you should try it out, when you feel like you've gotten to know him enough. Not everybody on the net is bad. And this could be a good experience for you and maybe open your eyes to other "horizons" and what not. I was a little worried, my first time meeting someone I only spoke to on the net. It wasn't that bad though. You just have to be careful and not jump into the situation without testing the waters.

Borg69 · 09-30-2014, 01:06 PM

Is he single, or just looking for fun when the wife isn't home?

Camfer · 09-30-2014, 04:24 PM

You should follow the standard Meet A Guy Off The Internet protocol.

You may have already violated rules #1 and 2, but probably no big deal. Save that info for later.

1. Do not tell the guy where you live or where you work.
2. Do not give out your phone # until you've agreed to meet in person.
3. Agree to meet in a public place like a coffee house.
4. Tell a trusted person where you're going and what you're up to, and when you expect to be back. Give this person the other guy's phone number too.
5. Be on time and don't chicken out and be a no show. Have low expectations.
6. Hang out with him in public over coffee or other drink.
7. Do not leave your drink unattended at any time.
8. Leave at any time if you have any qualms about the guy. You owe him nothing more than meeting for a minute.
9. If it looks like it's all going well, talk about safe sex, relationships, discretion, etc., depending on what you're seeking with the guy.
10. If you've established some trust with him and are going to have sex, text your trusted person on where you're going next. Try to have sex in place where it's legal, such as your place, his place, a motel, or a bath house. Try to avoid having sex in public places where you run the risk of law enforcement.
11. Have fun. Safe sex only. Don't consent to anything you don't want to do. Stay sober and don't get all blitzed out on drugs.
12. As you part company, be honest about what's next between the two of you. Is it a one-night stand? Open to meet again? Tentatively get together tomorrow? Plan your honeymoon? Just be honest with each other so no one's left hanging.
13. Text your trusted person that you're home safe.

If you follow the above protocol, you stand a good chance that it will be a positive or at least neutral experience for you.

meridannight · 09-30-2014, 06:01 PM

JohnWilliams Wrote:(I mean he is after all a total stranger).

well, wasn't everyone you know today once a total stranger before you got to know them?

there are warning signs that a guy can be a creep. things like inability to take no for an answer; trying to escalate the level of intimacy without grounds for it (like asking you to move in with him, or other absurd statements like that). unless there are serious signs like that you're left with your best guess and you can go and see what it's like or never meet anybody through online communication alone. it's up to you, nobody's forcing you.

but, you know, he's probably wondering similar things about you. whether you're some weirdo, whether you've told him the truth about yourself....etc.

09-30-2014, 06:55 PM

Young 20's and 'curious' typically means that the person is bi to full out gay but struggling to get out of a closet. Over 30, married with kids and 'curious' usually means that they are looking for yet one more toy-boy to play with.

Meet in a public place, a cafe or something like that, share in coffee and conversation.

If you have issues with introducing a 'straight' dude to homosexual sex - then don't do this. Clearly he is looking for that in this.

There is a chance that this is his M.O. - he plays the 'I'm a virgin, but curious' card in order to pick-up guys for casual sex. The down side to that is many of those try to talk you out of using condoms as in 'I have never had sex with a guy so you're safe with me'.

You won't know until you meet and talk. If you are looking for a relationship then I strongly suggest you get off that meet and fuck app. Rarely do relationships come from those sorts of things - sex yes, relationships not so much.

09-30-2014, 09:11 PM

I would definitely follow Camfer's advice and rules. Also let it be known in the beginning what you are looking for, a one time hook up, a fwb, or a relationship.

Keep on thing in your mind the whole time: SAFETY FIRST.

I've meet up with a couple of guys the past few weeks and I'm always nervous about meeting them and I plan on using Camfer's advice from now on. Also Criminal Minds does not help to ease the mind when meeting complete strangers.

10-01-2014, 06:34 PM

He is looking to experience M2M sex. You say you use these sights but never say you've any experience. Are you ready to meet his expectations.

Who knows, you may have a FWB in the making.

10-01-2014, 11:28 PM

Ok thanks for the advice guys!
I'm gonna give it a shot after all... he's a single guy and he said he had sex with girls before and he wants to see what M2M sex is like..
I'm not looking for a relationship or anything, so I guess why not...