LJay Wrote:Interesting, East. You make me wonder a bit.
Now that it is possible to marry, I am wondering why I would. I have absolutely no prospects. Even the guy at the end of the bar avoids me. I have lived with the knowledge that men's romantic relationships were impossible, and certainly that marriage was out of the question, for so long that I just have trouble with the concept. I am not against it, I just don't have it as part of my outlook. I sometimes wonder if it is not easier for two guys to live together without a contract and to avoid all the legal hassle. I know the stuff about taxes and all that, but it is interesting to me that so many straight couples are not marrying these days and that so many gay couples want to.
Is it just the principle of the thing? Or is the real issue that gay couples simply want to be able to be gay couples without all the finger and chin wagging and ostracism? Is it marriage or acceptance that is the issue?
And to throw a bucket of something at the fundies who insist that gay marriage will break down the family--an institution that our rates of divorce, marital affairs and domestic violence show is not terribly strong anyway--is it possible that the marriage of gays who wish to marry will in fact signal an attitudinal change toward the philandering gay style of social interaction?
What would Andy Rooney say? I'd like to hear.
What you say LJay is very true, some of us have not been brought up with the idea that we couldn't ever marry a same-sex partner. We have sometimes gone down the route of marrying (or at least dating) the opposite sex, thinking it would make us straight or bring some kind of comfort and consolation, but in the end, we've pretty much understood that the opposite sex thing was not going to make us happy.
I'm sorry to hear that you have no romantic prospect that would ever make you enter into marriage, or at least that you haven't had one so far, but it may happen yet. With mindsets being different, with our mindsets also gradually changing to more acceptance of the concept, and again, depending on local and personal circumstances, there is no reason why some same-sex couples shouldn't enjoy this new right. The next one could be you, and someone similarly inclined. It requires trust and friendship, and love and partnership.
It stands to reason that it's only a new string to our bows, only a new part of the arsenal of contracting one's life to someone else's. Gays can continue to have partnerships, civil or not, date someone and never marry, never make anything official. So can straight people. The real novelty is in the possibility of contracting a marriage with someone who is of the same sex. That's not been possible before and that's why we need to take the idea on board now. The younger generations will think of it as a given, probably.
I suppose our mindset is very much like it was for black people when marriage outside their ethnic group was utterly forbidden. I'm sure it must have taken them a while to get used to this idea of equality.
Similarly, I bet some women didn't quite know what to do with their votes once they were allowed to vote. Obviously those who'd fought for that right probably used it right away, fully aware of the cost in trouble and strife it had brought them.