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The mask of a masc
Masc, masculine, straight-acting and other shit like that.
I'll admit. I feel inferior and worthless. I'm not ultra-effeminate.
I'm not ultra-masculine. I'm just me. Sometimes I even feel like a child with no gender.
I love my male body. LOVE IT. I love my sensitivity and my stubbornness.
Why the hell are we keeping ourselves in little boxes?
We were supposed to change these norms, these labels.
We transform what a man means, so why keep being obsessed with the typical straight guy?
Yeah, sometimes it's hot. But in truth, there's nothing like a sexy, cute and gentle guy.
Yep, that's my rant.

Different strokes for different folks...pretty much boils down to this IMO...


Yeah and I'm all for it. But it seems like today, you have to be super masculine if anyone would give you attention at all.

^ Not so.

There are also a lot of masculine guys who prefer more feminine guys....one of my ex-bosses was like this and I've known a number of others who preferred a person who was 'himself'. My partner of over 33 years is one of those....never feel inferior because you can't be the person you think others want.

People who close off a segment of people because of a basic trait are missing out. How do they know there is not someone more on the feminine side that knocks their socks off and sweeps them off their feet?

Anytime I was asked 'are you masc?' I'd respond with 'No, I'm Brian'. Fuck holding yourself to some notion of who random people want you to be. I just act like myself. I'm giant and with a deeper voice but I'm sure at some moments I vomit rainbows everywhere. Who cares.

Love this OP.
You are clearly beautiful in more ways than one.
Remember we sometimes live in "small worlds" without really realizing it.
I was SO sure EVERYone smoked weed at your age, and I existed in a comparatively broad culture from where a wider world view eventually developed. I feel as though I came to embrace the true beauty of a person as your post alludes much too late in life.
I wish I had deliberately found ways to celebrate those qualities you describe as a younger man and enjoyed a broader range of subsequent love. Alas....

So today is what's worthy of my attention and I'll simply say I find you quite attractive and lovable...especially when you rant.
Heart  Life's too short to miss an opportunity to show your love and affection!  Heart

I don't want to come across as if on the fence or being politically correct, so as to please everyone, as I am not here running for a popularity contest! but one thing that seems to be missing in today's world, whether you are straight, bi, gay, transgender, white, black, latino, asian, masculine, feminine, christian, jewish, muslim, buddhist and whatever else! and the one thing most of these groups seem to be missing on and are unaware of is the inner beauty of being human!


Very true... I'm very glad to not be in the dating world, between the labels and the impersonal apps. I think if I found myself single again I'd probably just stay that way.

Also had the opposite problem in my bar days, where some would-be friends didn't think my tastes were "gay enough" and inattention to presentation kept me away from the "cool kids". Yeah, oh well.

While my dude is so not that, I do still have a weakness for bad boys. I wonder of psychologically when we're coming out and maybe hearing from fathers/coaches/peers/society that we're "not man enough" just by nature of our attractions, there is still a wistfulness to be "one of the boys". It has been a relief later in life to have at least some straight male friends that are not threatened by my orientation and can see past it to what we have in common. I have been meaning to try to blog about this.

DreamMaker Wrote:Yeah and I'm all for it. But it seems like today, you have to be super masculine if anyone would give you attention at all.

The most outwardly and genuinely "masc" gay guy I know only dates softer, gentler guys. IDK if it's because subconsciously he needs to be "the guy" in the relationship or what, but they are definitely out there.

I think I fit the maligned stereotype in the OP. Now to screw up the stereotype from the inside out.

Big jocks my size are fun to look at and talk about... but it ends there when I examine my own body language and the ways I interact with other guys. If I'm alone in a bar the guys I really notice most and want to talk to are the smaller, shyer, quieter guys with soft voices who blush easy and aren't brutally macho. I don't see them as being effeminate. To me these guys rate HIGHER than all others.

I wasn't always comfortable about it at first because off the labels and stereotypes about big masculine guys and smaller less masculine guys. To this day all anyone has to do to pizz me off real bad is verbalize their assumption that just because Jay is ten inches shorter than me he must be the "girl in the relationship." I have cracked a couple of heads over that.... both of them professionally obnoxious gays.

And something else -- I don't ever "see" jay as being less masculine than me when we're together. BUT I can watch videos with him in them and see it. Weird huh?

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