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relationship
#1
i have noticed that some gs members mentioned in their profile that they are looking for relationship. i have a query for them.

will you be in a long distance relationship if there is a chance?
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#2
Hahaha, funny, 'cause when OP posted this thread I quickly checked my profile, and there it is, I mentioned Relationship. haha. I was like, why did I even include it there. It's actually a complicated thing if you try to think about it. LOL. But on a positive side, I think I can or may handle it. However, I have conditions. Well foremost I will not jump in this kind of commitment if I haven't met the person personally and physically. So we need to work that out first. We can meet halfway, or I can get there or he can get here. Then, we both need to earn each other's trust which I know is a really complicated and difficult thing to achieve especially if both of you know that you will not be physically available in the long run. Lastly, regular updates, Skype, Facetime, Facebook, etc. must be kept.

Bottomline is as long as you feel inside of you that you can handle it, why not? It works for some people I know, then why not to somebody else. I happen to know a person who has gone thru this kind of relationship for a long time and right now they are happily in love and married with a bunch of kiddos.

As long as there is a foundation of trust there. And as long as your insides telling you to stay, then this could be for you. Just don't expect too much out of this relationship.

Confusedmile:
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#3
thank you.
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#4
No. I would not consider a long-distance friendship a relationship as long as it were yet long-distance.
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#5
The 27th of next month will be the 8th anniversary of me being in a long distance relationship. Also it's going to be the day the long distance ends. I've gotten to the point where I don't try to tell guys they can make LDRs work because we've done it. I've started telling them how hard, lonely and expensive it was. I try to discourage them from it the same way my friends and family did their best to discourage me. I didn't listen to them. I hope telling guys about how bad LDRs are is a way of scaring off the ones who aren't really committed to take on the sacrifices and tough times.
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#6
Virge Wrote:The 27th of next month will be the 8th anniversary of me being in a long distance relationship. Also it's going to be the day the long distance ends. I've gotten to the point where I don't try to tell guys they can make LDRs work because we've done it. I've started telling them how hard, lonely and expensive it was. I try to discourage them from it the same way my friends and family did their best to discourage me. I didn't listen to them. I hope telling guys about how bad LDRs are is a way of scaring off the ones who aren't really committed to take on the sacrifices and tough times.

Virge is the story of how you guys met posted on here somewhere? Don't want to ask you to retype unless you feel like it, but I am curious (read: "nosy").
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#7
I would consider doing a long-distance relationship as a precursor for a non-long-distance relationship, not as a permanent thing. Smile

Lex
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#8
ShiftyNJ Wrote:Virge is the story of how you guys met posted on here somewhere? Don't want to ask you to retype unless you feel like it, but I am curious (read: "nosy").

Yeah it's here somewhere... I'll go scouting my old threads in just a second for all of it.. Back in the beginning when I posted here I started off telling the romantic "fairy tale" version of it all. THAT made me start thinking about all the shit I wasn't telling and how the bad shit is more important for others to know than that the fairy take romance version.

I'm not going to start trying to convince anyone to take a 1 in a quadrillion chance for love like I did. I admit it was the dumbest thing I ever did. The way things turned out for me and Jay is the rare exception... it was a lot of work, a lot of money a lot of shit... but I barely remember all that unless I force myself to think about it.

I'm searching now....
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#9
Hardheaded1 Wrote:No. I would not consider a long-distance friendship a relationship as long as it were yet long-distance.

exactly. it is not relationship sitting behind a computer screen and typing or calling on the phone. jerking off to a cam is not sex, it's not even a substitute for sex. it's you jerking off. period. relationship needs physical interaction, physical contact. it needs body language. it needs exploring the dynamics and compatibility between partners. this is done only when coexisting within the same coordinates on a daily basis (give or take). online interaction is an illusion. there's nothing real about it.

the same goes for friendship. it is not a friendship when you two only know one another through the internet. it's two complete strangers typing texts and making their own conclusions often creating false ideas of what the other person is like. he can send you a thousand pictures of himself and you still won't know what he looks like. body language will tell you what he looks like. the way he carries himself. he can look however he wants but it's about confidence, his reactions to things, what he says, when he holds himself back, or insecurity, naivety, etc etc. there's a whole continuum to a guy. you get 0% of that continuum from the internet. so when you enter a ''relationship'' in such flat space (internet is a 0-dimensional space) you're in a relationship with words and sentences typed on the internet. would you call that a relationship?

i do understand Virge. he got over the distance issue through his willpower and really being committed to his man. but such a willpower exists only if there are truly strong feelings for the other guy. it also means forcing it through and making it work no matter what. you don't even see alternative as an option. it's not about doubts, people who can make it work have zero doubts when it comes to this. you don't have doubts, because you know you will make it work even if you have to geolocate a whole continent to the other side of the world.

the few people i've met who have tried the long distance thing do not have such a power to them and they don't understand this. they have this delusional idea that if they call it a relationship that automatically makes it so, and then they go on about their life as usual, calling themselves being in a relationship when in fact so far removed from any resemblance of a relationship. that is fucking bullshit.
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#10
meridannight Wrote:exactly. it is not relationship sitting behind a computer screen and typing or calling on the phone. jerking off to a cam is not sex, it's not even a substitute for sex. it's you jerking off. period. relationship needs physical interaction, physical contact. it needs body language. it needs exploring the dynamics and compatibility between partners. this is done only when coexisting within the same coordinates on a daily basis (give or take). online interaction is an illusion. there's nothing real about it.

the same goes for friendship. it is not a friendship when you two only know one another through the internet. it's two complete strangers typing texts and making their own conclusions often creating false ideas of what the other person is like. he can send you a thousand pictures of himself and you still won't know what he looks like. body language will tell you what he looks like. the way he carries himself. he can look however he wants but it's about confidence, his reactions to things, what he says, when he holds himself back, or insecurity, naivety, etc etc. there's a whole continuum to a guy. you get 0% of that continuum from the internet. so when you enter a ''relationship'' in such flat space (internet is a 0-dimensional space) you're in a relationship with words and sentences typed on the internet. would you call that a relationship?

i do understand Virge. he got over the distance issue through his willpower and really being committed to his man. but such a willpower exists only if there are truly strong feelings for the other guy. it also means forcing it through and making it work no matter what. you don't even see alternative as an option. it's not about doubts, people who can make it work have zero doubts when it comes to this. you don't have doubts, because you know you will make it work even if you have to geolocate a whole continent to the other side of the world.

the few people i've met who have tried the long distance thing do not have such a power to them and they don't understand this. they have this delusional idea that if they call it a relationship that automatically makes it so, and then they go on about their life as usual, calling themselves being in a relationship when in fact so far removed from any resemblance of a relationship. that is fucking bullshit.

imagine the people in military family when a spouse is deployed for 6-12 months at a time
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