Hi I'm knew at this, I have a gay brother and of course I am to, I have been in a monogomous relationship for
11 yrs, last night my brother sent me evidence of my Lover posting on a website, saying he was single living alone and 27yrs old
he also had his picture on his profile, I was taken aback by this and know I should confront him but he is away and will be back
next week. After seeing this profile I wonder if he really is away visiting family or just messing around. he is really 46yrs old. I am in Love with him and thought he was in Love with me, just stunned at this.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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Well doesn't that just suck.
I guess you can do one of two things. Ignore it and put it down to the 11 year itch or confront him with the evidence from your brother and explain how it came to be in your possession.
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Try to have a tactful talk with him about it, or you mind will never let it rest.
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unless your happy to live with a lie (some people are) I'd just show him the evidence and ask = if he travels and is alone then the internet gives you a huge amount of temptation to indulge sexually without actually meeting (web cam - sext chat etc ) he may doing something along those lines - is it cheating ? im not the one to say ,,, if he's meeting guys though and you were a straight couple it would be divorce time - not sure why us gay men except loose morals and cheeting so easily
good luck though - I hope its more innocent than it looks
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^ Maybe it's that the nascent gay rights movement really put on its shoes and started walking during the sexual revolution of the 60's. There had been failed earlier attempts, such as Oscar Wilde, but real movement did not occur until broader civil rights had taken center stage.
As the drugs and sex of the me generation began to step out into the daylight, gay men decided that our time had come as well.
My observation is that the rights to be polyamorous or promiscuous were indeed won, but not without an appropriate degree of fading when exposed to the harsh light of examination. Whereas many people were indeed rebelling against the ancient mandates to stay in relationships that were bad due to societal pressures, the subsequent hedonism triggered a conservative reaction that really had nothing to do with the AIDS scare.
People across society observed the open relationships and made personal assessments of them. A very small minority saw them as refreshing, freed from imposed values of religion, chauvinism, and repression. But, the vast majority of society continued to reject them as selfish, unstable, destructive, and hedonistic. Just as it isn't good for the moral development of a child if he gets candy whenever he wants it, it is arguable that an adult shouldn't think that scratching every itch is a virtue.
Sleeping around isn't like just wearing a bunch of different shoes. It involves feelings, other lives outside the two mating, and a range of complications. It's not that people cannot choose to do it, but that they aren't the only ones affected in many cases.
And, when one adds the surreptitious dimension that is implied in the OP's scenario, even if the OP's identity on the forum is suspect, it just adds another layer to the problem of impacts.
A similar retreat was seen in the feminist movement. Women rushed out to breathe the fresh air outside the shadow of their husbands, but then a great many rejected the most extreme positions when it became apparent that abandoning all gender roles left most women feeling undefined in ways that they did want. It is yet visible today, and often has a telling effect of straight women resenting men who bend the gender map and take on roles (in the work place, etc.) that were traditionally bastions of females.
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Aquarius
