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A pill to make my brain more masculine?
#1
Is there a pill to make my brain (not my body) like masculine things and be more masculine? I hate being feminine and no guys want to date me because of it. I'd feel better about myself if I was more masculine. I want to be able to like things such as sports, cars, heavy metal, etc. Please help me if you can. I want to be able to find a boyfriend too.
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#2
Some dudes like feminine dudes. Calm down.

And masculine guys don't necesarily like heavy metal, cars or football. Whatever you are, somebody will love you exactly for that.

Just don't pretend to be something you're not and it will all work out.
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#3
Hi.

Welcome to Gayspeak.

First off, you are wrong about guys not wanting to date feminine men. There is a huge amount of evidence to the contrary, and you are within an hour of ground zero for one of the world's largest gay Meccas, so you just need to hop on the subway and get down there and meet your fans.

As for feminine or masculine, there is a mixture of nature and nurture that affects all humans. Whereas a good deal of the brain and its formation is genetic, there is also a strong component of environment that comes to bear. It begins in the womb with hormones and continues after birth while the brain is learning and growing and developing.

The very language you learn physically shapes your brain and its structure.

Likewise, you learn female and male ways of thinking, of reacting, to your world. I was raised in almost total exclusion of male influences, so I was surrounded by women. I'm sure it affected how I regard language, aggression, acceptance, affection, and many other dimensions of life. That said, I consider myself masculine, but not in any athletic or macho sense of the word. I'm masculine because I tend to dominate and seek out leader positions, or at least demand equal status. In traditional culture, those were some of the male roles, although not in the modern gender-corrected societies.

Read up on the brain and learned behaviors.

From a passing guess, I'd offer that you may be unhappy with how you present yourself. You may have learned an effeminate speech style or physical behaviors. Those are definitely learned and can change if you don't like how you feel. They are habitual though, so changing them is a gradual process.

I'd do a lot of soul searching and find out if you don't want to be feminized, or you are simply unhappy with how it is received by others. Those are two different things entirely.

I love to cook, mostly bake. Here in the Latino desert Southwest, that is readily perceived as feminine. Of course, it's not, so I proudly take up for it. But, for the record, if it were a feminine expression of self, I would pursue it just as passionately.
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#4
The New York City guys are stuck-up as fuck though. They think they're hot shit and won't have anything to do with me. There's really two types of guys:

1) Attractive guys
2) Ugly and/or desperate guys

I can't get a 1 even though I really need one, and all the 2 guys think I'm easy to get when I'm really not. So yeah that's that.
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#5
Welcome to GS!

Lordy, I wish there was such a pill!
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#6
subdivisions Wrote:The New York City guys are stuck-up as fuck though. They think they're hot shit and won't have anything to do with me. There's really two types of guys:

1) Attractive guys
2) Ugly and/or desperate guys

I can't get a 1 even though I really need one, and all the 2 guys think I'm easy to get when I'm really not. So yeah that's that.

Well... It sounds like you're surrounded by a group of insecure pre-teens. If you want a real relationship with real values, then you will have an easier time finding it elsewhere. So maybe you should change things up.
Beauty is subjective and not a necesity in a relationship. What's needed is passion, desire and respect.
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#7
Here's some paraphrased words from an ancient author I love to quote, put into 21st century English.

If you are not the person you wish to spend the rest of your life with
How can you expect anyone else to want to do it for you?
Become the person you wish to spend the rest of your life with
and there will be no shortage of people trying to beat you at it.

That's all you need to know.... other than there's a lot more macho guys who will be happier with a feminine guy who's happy with himself than they will be happy with a macho guy who isn't.

Print that out and stick it on your mirror... drill it in your head and stop trying to be something you aren't.

Sorry I didn't waste a bunch of fluffy words making you feel better about a problem you're creating for yourself. I'm trying to help you and you have to face the truth first.

And one of the things I like the best about my guy is that little bit of "sweet" he shows sometimes.
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#8
My suggestion? Join the marines. I don't know about Reaper but you should have seen what a flamer Virge was before he joined up!
.
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#9
Sorry, but there is no such thing and you have to make do with what you are and have. Instead of wishing you were interested in stuff like sports, cars etc., why don't you try to make friends who like the same things you do? You don't tell us what your interests are, but I'm sure there's something other people are interested in too.

Your second post worries me, where you're dividing up all NY men into 2 categories. Let me be blunt here, almost nobody likes an obnoxious queen with attitude. Badmouthing others to build yourself up may be a defense mechanism of yours, but it's a very ugly trait.
Bernd

Being gay is not for Sissies.
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#10
Virge Wrote:Here's some paraphrased words from an ancient author I love to quote, put into 21st century English.

If you are not the person you wish to spend the rest of your life with
How can you expect anyone else to want to do it for you?
Become the person you wish to spend the rest of your life with
and there will be no shortage of people trying to beat you at it.


That right there. You need to do what makes you happy. Before you can be with someone you need to be happy with being yourself. I know it sounds like some Oprah bullshit but trying to force yourself to like things you don't is a waste of time. I think the harder you look the more you'll find complex gay people that have way more to them then stereotypes. I listen to heavy metal, grunge, hard rock etc and dress like it but spend my downtime making youtube videos and playing videogames. I've also been in a relationship with a guy much more 'typical' as he's a little blonde twink for pushing 3 years. Just be happy with yourself and you'll get whatcha want.
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