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11-23-2014, 04:21 AM

Are you serious!? I love me a guy who is not afraid to show his affection towards me in what ever way he likes to show it! I wouldn't stop him...EVER!!

11-23-2014, 04:29 AM

You know.

The mornings in which I wake up alone, eat my breakfast in an empty kitchen. Before others have awoken. Those are my happiest mornings/

The mornings in which people are about, doing what they do, speaking and living. Those are my worst. Because I have this sort of... irritation... this aversion to interaction with people.

Though I know, that although I don't know why, it's probably more of a flaw than anything else. I don't think it's something I want,or simply, it's not something which is a special quirk.

Personal space is important though. Even for two lovas. Especially when you're angry.

Bhp91126 · 11-23-2014, 04:37 AM

Anonymous Wrote:No, guys, it's not about our relationship being bad or something, I love him and I want to be with him and I know he feels the same way towards me. But it's just that...he's like glued to me and I don't really like that. I like physical affection and I like to show a person I love him, but no one of the guys I've been together with has ever been so affectionate with me. We made love, kissed, etc. but they let me have some privacy ,some time alone. But now he's with me everywhere, holding me in his arms af if I could dissapear. When I would like to read a book alone, he comes and cuddles around me all.the time. That's what makes me angry.

There is nothing bad about needing some space occasionally, you just need to tell him. Also ask him why he needs to be in constant contact with you, his answer might surprise you. COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE!

Camfer · 11-23-2014, 05:28 AM

This may be a case of an introvert (the OP) and an extrovert (the BF) being in a relationship together.

An introvert gets a lot of stimulation from within, and too much interaction can feel overwhelming or annoying. An introvert loves alone time because it allows him to revel in his inner world. An introvert often doesn't understand why another person isn't giving him his space he needs.

An extrovert gets a lot of stimulation from social interaction. An extrovert doesn't enjoy alone time all that much. He'd rather be engaging with other people to feel good. An extrovert often doesn't understand why someone would rather be daydreaming on a couch alone or absorbed in a book, rather than cuddling, talking, or going out to do things.

In these situations, it's usually the introvert who needs to speak up to get his needs met.

Some suggestions to the OP. When your BF gives you hugs, accept it warmly for some time, and then say thanks you've had enough for now. If you need alone time and your BF is all smothering you on the couch, explicitly ask for a certain amount of alone time. It could be you need an hour, or it could be you need an entire afternoon or evening. Just *say* it, however much time you think you need. Then, set a time and suggest some activity with your BF, so he doesn't feel all neglected and can look forward to his time with you.

Your BF cannot possibly respect your needs until he understands them. It is your responsibility to sit your BF down and talk about your needs and get him to talk about his needs. He's not a mind reader. Tell him what a perfect day would look like for you. Ask what a perfect day would look like for him. Make each of these happen from time to time.

meridannight · 11-23-2014, 05:39 AM

this thread reminded me i gotta go get together with someone and feel him up from head to toe. Smile

11-23-2014, 11:50 AM

Steve Wrote:Take an hour or so and write down exactly what is bothering you.

"I love being loved. I love knowing you know I love you. Our lives together make my world work. I'm glad you know how much I love you.

Sometimes, it is like we have different thermostats. When the room is too hot for me, it's just right for you. Can love be like that? It can, because that is how I feel, yet I still love you.

I need you to help me cool off at times. When we have been touching for a time, it works better for me to have some time doing things not as intimate. My mind needs that space to cool down, to be me. Whenever I say 'I am too warm,' it only means I need to cool down. It doesn't mean I am not feeling love as much, only that I feel physically crowded at times. It's not very different than the themostats thing.

Do I do anything that may be making you feel uncomfortable? If I do, I want you to be honest with me, too, as we are in this for the long haul. Oh, and I already know I need to trim my toenails more often."

11-23-2014, 03:24 PM

I enjoy physical affection much more than my boyfriend, I suspect a result of different upbringing. I think we strike an okay balance in that regard, naturally we are more likely to snuggle up in cold weather.

Amusingly a number of my straight male friends make up the slack for me, a couple of them are really huggy and have no problem with me using them as a pillow or whatever when we're hanging out. If I like and trust you, you will be my furniture LOL.

11-23-2014, 04:31 PM

talk, all you need is having a good talk with him Smile

11-23-2014, 05:42 PM

ShiftyNJ Wrote:I enjoy physical affection much more than my boyfriend, I suspect a result of different upbringing. I think we strike an okay balance in that regard, naturally we are more likely to snuggle up in cold weather.

Amusingly a number of my straight male friends make up the slack for me, a couple of them are really huggy and have no problem with me using them as a pillow or whatever when we're hanging out. If I like and trust you, you will be my furniture LOL.

Funny you mention that! because my straight male friends are more spontaneous and willing at being more touchy feeling with me then my gay friends are! take for instance a straight male friend always greets me with a long hug vs. the sexual tensions I get from my gay friends!