Promiscuous

[ck86]

Precisely. There also isn't a magical glow that your partner gives off that prevents you from seeing other guys either. We both still find other people attractive and it has 0 implication on our relationship.

Agree with Brian. My fella and I acknowledge that we kind other guys attractive and will point out the potential eye candy in the room to the other. However doesn't mean that we actually want to sleep with them.

There's isn't anything wrong with a monogamous relationship nor a polygamous relationship. I know of some of some couples who are frequently have "guest" stars in their bedrooms. It's whatever works for the couple that counts. Work through your issues. Think about what you want and like and be honest with the guys you date.

[reaper]

Being so knew to all this, I've often wondered this myself.

It does appear to me the "open" relationship seems to be more common in the gay community.

Granted, I've come into all of this in a place that is sexually charged and the relationships complex.

I had a date, or a hookup, last night. I'm not even sure how to describe what it is. This is a guy I met on a hook up app that I really hit it off with. Less then a week ago we met at a diner and hung out talking for 2.5 hours, then we hooked up.

I sent him a text telling him I may be free to hang out on Saturday. He asked me to come over, we hung out for a while, hooked up, then went out to eat.

Whenever I meet someone knew, almost always through a hookup site, I make the point of claiming my freedom...that I'm new and exploring.

But I don't think this is 100% honest. I do like the idea of finding one person I connect with and seeing where it goes, but my policy is really my way of protecting the club.

Even if I didn't look for other dudes to hook up with, which I don't need to do, the club is important to me. It's not just about the bondage and all that, but the people and the place. I have relationships there with people who are a big part of my story.

They have helped me a lot and made it really easy for me to accept what is. So if I say I need things to be open, I'm really saying the club stays. It's not really about hooking up.

I wouldn't just be giving up the place, I'd be giving up friends.

The guy I'm hooking up with has been in committed relationships before. We both seem to be into each other...I'm not quite sure where this piece of the puzzle fits yet.

Being gay is a lot of work, lol!

[ck86]

[MENTION=21734]reaper[/MENTION] sounds like you are having plenty of fun. It maybe a lot of work but there's plenty of variety in what people want and expect.

Enjoy the discovery and the excitement. Good luck with how things turn out with you and your guy then. There's loads of people who settle down after being on hook up sites for a while. Needs and wants change with time.

[ShiftyNJ]

[MENTION=21734]reaper[/MENTION] I think you will likely have to set that out there early for any relationship you think may be getting serious to make sure it's not a show-stopper for the other guy.

[MikeW]

Yeah, if you see the same guy more than twice, it is probably time to bring up your whole story to hopefully help them understand why the club is so important to you. Hard to say what the reaction will be, depends on the guy, but the one thing you don't want to get into is a situation where you have to make a choice.

Also [MENTION=21734]reaper[/MENTION], I suspect that you're going to go through lots of changes as time goes on. The club is important to you now and may be for the foreseeable future -- but it may not *always* be. Things change, we change, we learn and grow and find new things that interest and/or challenge us in new ways.

I do agree being gay can be a lot of work. Too much work for an old man, that's for sure! LOL!!

[Pcolakuntryboy]

It does appear to me the "open" relationship seems to be more common in the gay community.

Don't base that opinion on what you read on the Internet or what you see in clubs. The "real world" is an entirely different place. I suspect most posters on forums (like this one) are a bit more open minded than the average person.

[JackTX]

Don't base that opinion on what you read on the Internet or what you see in clubs. The "real world" is an entirely different place. I suspect most posters on forums (like this one) are a bit more open minded than the average person.

Probably true, but also in the real world people people hide a lot of things from each other because they don't want them to know what's really going on behind the scenes. They're "open-minded" only when they feel comfortable expressing it

[Pcolakuntryboy]

Good point.

[jimcrackcorn]

There was a study done on gay couples in San Francisco back in the late 70's that showed approximately 51 percent of gay couples in the study said they were in an open relationship. This was prior to AIDS, and was conducted in a very gay city where Bath Houses & gay bars were plentiful.

Young couples who are dealing with high sex drives, may find it hard to be monogamous - humans are not hard wired to be monogamous like some other species on this planet. So,, if a partner makes a mistake while trying to be in a monogamous relationship, I can understand why.

[reaper]

Yeah, if you see the same guy more than twice, it is probably time to bring up your whole story to hopefully help them understand why the club is so important to you. Hard to say what the reaction will be, depends on the guy, but the one thing you don't want to get into is a situation where you have to make a choice.

Also [MENTION=21734]reaper[/MENTION], I suspect that you're going to go through lots of changes as time goes on. The club is important to you now and may be for the foreseeable future -- but it may not *always* be. Things change, we change, we learn and grow and find new things that interest and/or challenge us in new ways.

I do agree being gay can be a lot of work. Too much work for an old man, that's for sure! LOL!!

Thanks Mike, and since I knew before I met this guy that we would get along (he knew this as well) I decided to tell him the first time we hung out before we literally "hung out." He was fine with it. He even seems to have a bit of interest in it.