12-19-2014, 11:54 PM
What do you think? Should I make any changes?
There is something I should have told you a long time ago, because it’s a big part of who I am and have always been, I don’t know that there is an easy way to say this, so I’ll be blunt and get to the point. I’m Gay!! I have known I was gay for a very long time, as far back as I can remember. Articulating that I’m gay doesn’t in any way change who I am, I was gay before you read this and I will be gay after. I’m still the same boy you raised and loved. Growing up there were two times I almost came out, but didn’t due to fear; fear that I would be hated, homeless, and alone if I did, I don’t know if these feelings were justified or not, but it was what scared me more than anything growing up. Things may have been harder had I come out earlier, I know I would have been happier if I had.
For 20 years I hated myself, and lived in fear; fear that I was unlovable, fear that I would be abandoned, fear that I would be alone. I hated who I was, and who I was attracted to, I would not let myself love or be loved. It took 21 years, but I am happy with who I am, who I have always been, I’m happier than I have been in my entire life, and I will NOT live in fear any longer.
Being gay does not change the things I want out of life. I want to travel and explore the world, an education, to live long, and to be happy. I want to do well and live comfortably in a place I can call my own. I want a family to love and support me, and a husband to stand by my side. I know those things may not be the way you pictured them, but I have been imaging them that way for years.
Telling you this is probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, It terrifies me more than you can possibly imagine. If you can’t accept me as I am, I will forgive you. If I’m no longer part of your family, know that I will not shed a tear, and I will forgive you. If you need some time, I understand, it took me twenty years. I hope it won’t take you as long.
There is something I should have told you a long time ago, because it’s a big part of who I am and have always been, I don’t know that there is an easy way to say this, so I’ll be blunt and get to the point. I’m Gay!! I have known I was gay for a very long time, as far back as I can remember. Articulating that I’m gay doesn’t in any way change who I am, I was gay before you read this and I will be gay after. I’m still the same boy you raised and loved. Growing up there were two times I almost came out, but didn’t due to fear; fear that I would be hated, homeless, and alone if I did, I don’t know if these feelings were justified or not, but it was what scared me more than anything growing up. Things may have been harder had I come out earlier, I know I would have been happier if I had.
For 20 years I hated myself, and lived in fear; fear that I was unlovable, fear that I would be abandoned, fear that I would be alone. I hated who I was, and who I was attracted to, I would not let myself love or be loved. It took 21 years, but I am happy with who I am, who I have always been, I’m happier than I have been in my entire life, and I will NOT live in fear any longer.
Being gay does not change the things I want out of life. I want to travel and explore the world, an education, to live long, and to be happy. I want to do well and live comfortably in a place I can call my own. I want a family to love and support me, and a husband to stand by my side. I know those things may not be the way you pictured them, but I have been imaging them that way for years.
Telling you this is probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, It terrifies me more than you can possibly imagine. If you can’t accept me as I am, I will forgive you. If I’m no longer part of your family, know that I will not shed a tear, and I will forgive you. If you need some time, I understand, it took me twenty years. I hope it won’t take you as long.