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just for discussion:
is it possible for a person's views to change:
for a person who has strong views about wanting a monogamous relationship and later on changing to wanting an open relationship?
also a person who used to only strongly prefer having sexual intercourse within a relationship into preferring to have hook-ups and one night stands?
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Of course it is possible to change. When you are young, you can accept as the ideal everything you have been told, that monogamy is the what you should strive for. Later as you age, some will became to question if that is what they really want.
On the other hand, you can be someone that was always out there having fun, hook ups, and casual dating and then later decide it time to settle down and find that one person to spend your life. I was one of these people. Trying to hook up and get laid can be very time consuming, a lot of work, and sometimes a lot of wasted effort.
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People change over time... [MENTION=20912]Iceblink[/MENTION] has given pretty good advice there already. As we mature our preferences change. Also many of us get to a point where we don't have the time to constantly pursue a hook up.
It might not be unusual to go from monogamy to hook ups tho. I guess when a relationship breaks down different people handle it differently.
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Oh heavens yes. Attitudes can certainly change.
It may have something to do with boredom....or dissatisfaction within a realtionship...or andropause...or even a neurochemical imbalance and mental health state....but it is not uncommon.
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Absolutely. Of course it is.
For example, prior to my relationship with Gideon, I was not at ALL interested in a relationship of ANY kind. In fact, I actively avoided them with a great deal of care and caution. I was fiercely independent and refused to even consider -any- relationship that would change things in my life in any way, shape or form.
Now? I've been in a monogamous (and long distance) relationship with Gideon for going on 7 years. I couldn't screw around even if I wanted to (I definitely don't) because I'm pretty sure the man has re-programmed my dick to only work for him.
If something happened that we split? There's a good chance I would never be able to go back to hook-ups and casual sex. He broke that for me. I doubt I'd find any pleasure or satisfaction in sex without a meaningful (and probably mutually monogamous) relationship attached.
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To be honest, I would say there is a problem with someone who hasn't had a change of heart/views over the course of their lifetime. This is just a part of growing up really, you live, learn and change because of it.
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We are flexible and capable of learning from our own mistakes, Anonymous, so yes it is possible to change and try new ways of seeing and doing things. Otherwise would we ever make any progress?
What you are saying, as a matter of fact, is that it can be harder for some people (who are more set in their ways) than for others (who are more adaptable).
For some people, changing the way they act and behave, and also their preferences will be really a great effort and a great strain, and therefore stressful.
As an example, there is Sheldon Cooper in the Big Bang Theory (but he's definitely on the autistic scale) who can't sit in any other place but his place on the sofa, who can't eat anything else in the morning etc... That's the only way he feels comfortable. But even he, sometimes, puts his beliefs and preferences to the test. It works better when he's the initiator of the tests, though, not when they are imposed on him by his friends, colleagues and family.
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