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Maverick · 01-23-2015, 05:08 PM

Do NOT leave if you can help it until after divorce if final. Why.... the Friend of the Court and local Judge will take leaving as "abandoning" your children, and they will make it much more difficult for you down the road in getting parenting time set up. Check locally with a lawyer or the FOC to confirm it's the same in your area, but typically that's the way it works.

01-23-2015, 07:48 PM

So...Updates?

We are all waiting........

01-23-2015, 08:28 PM

I have to issue you a public apology lonely...I am so sorry I assumed you were the same person. I guess I just had some reservations..hopefully you understand and find a way to forgive me (I still don't like IMs though).

I want to wish you luck in your journey...I am sure it is heartbreaking and you don't need any crap from me to make it worse....

(((HUGS)))

01-24-2015, 05:35 AM

Thanks everyone you all are so great and supportive it goes to show that there are great people out there in the world !!! I am glad that I found this forum and joined I almost did not do it and I would have missed out on all the great advise and awesome people here.

East I want to say thank you that means a lot to me I actually started crying when I read what you posted and I want to say thank you and yes I forgive you and I have no hard feelings at all as far as the instant messages that is all good I don't have to use it .I am sorry for what I said to you also and I hope that you can forgive me also .

01-24-2015, 05:56 AM

Oh I forgot to update I was so emotional about the advise and what east said . So far nothing new is going on she is still pissed but she has stop using the kids as messengers and the kids are still on edge and I am still trying to be there for them and spend as much time as I can she is not really wanting me to be alone with them and I do not understand why I can't be alone with them anymore but I am keeping my mouth shut and trying to keep the peace . I guess I am not going to leave now until after the divorce is final .

01-26-2015, 06:05 AM

Well I have a big update Sad

well today we had the big fight !!! I do not know how it happened but she found out about the affair and man what a ride that was . She was throwing plates cups what ever she could grab I have never ducked and weaved so much in my life . I know that it was my fault and I had to take what ever she said and threw at me . I did say that I was sorry she asked if that was the only time and if it would ever happen again I said he was the only man ever and I have since told him that I can not be with him at this time and that was the wrong thing to say wow that woman has a lot of things to say and throw !! I do not think there is a dish in this house that is not broken now . I am sleeping my truck tonight and letting her cool off ! I hope that it is better in the morning I can not say much because it is my fault . I guess it is all out there now nothing left to tell her . I just do not know how she found out tho I am going to get a hold of the man I was with and see if he told her I would really like to know . I find it odd that she found out some how . I may never know I am NOT asking her . ( Hell to the No !! snap the fingers while waving my hand left and right ) .

01-26-2015, 06:12 AM

I hate to say this but in a way I am glad that it is over with now

01-26-2015, 06:23 AM

lonley Wrote:I hate to say this but in a way I am glad that it is over with now

yea, if feels like a weight has been lifted. i know the feeling (we all probably do...) it's better to get things out in the open.

i'm not a relationship specialist (seeing that i have no social life...) but i think the best thing to do is communicate with each other. let her speak her mind and you speak your mind. find out where you guys want in the relationship, whether to end it or not, whether to never see each other again or have joint-custody of the children, idk. but talk about it...

01-26-2015, 06:34 AM

Well if she gets her way I have to leave and never see her again and first she said no I could not see the kids now she says that it is up to them if they want to see me . I want them to stay in the home and same school so less stress on them .

Borg69 · 01-26-2015, 03:28 PM

lonley Wrote:Well if she gets her way I have to leave and never see her again and first she said no I could not see the kids now she says that it is up to them if they want to see me . I want them to stay in the home and same school so less stress on them .

She's under a lot of stress, pain, confusion, ... right now. She's going to say a lot of things out of anger she might not actually mean 6+ months from now.