Pursuing a guy who is with a girl - Help!?

[freedom27]

I started talking and flirting with this guy about a year ago (he's bi) and at first he denied being bi but it was fairly obvious, his facebook also said he was interested in men and women. The more we talked the more we flirted (even sexted a little bit) and eventually we started to ask each other out but for some reason the timing was off or I was hesitant. We have known each other for years and always had chemistry and got along well. We have a lot in common and similar careers too.

I just moved away 2 months ago and I am moving back next week. We got into an argument unfortunately right before I left over something stupid. I let it go but I realized while I was here that I truly did have feelings for him and I could see a future with him. So I messaged him about a month ago and starting talking again, and he was kind of standoffish at first and I was looking at his Facebook and realized that as soon as I moved he changed his Facebook from interested in men and women to women and single to in a relationship. He mentioned he had a girlfriend before, but he didn't really bring her up and I figured he was just realizing he was gay as we both are young (I'm 22 and he is 19)

He has never openly admitted to being gay or having feelings for me, except for the obvious flirting. But when I started talking to him he said he could never find a normal guy and he even went to gay bars and then he said "that's why I'm straight now". And completely ignored me after that. I continued to message him saying what are you talking about? He then said he doesn't think he has feelings for me anymore. I was very confused because if he really wanted to end it he wouldn't have admitted he had feelings for me or that he was gay before. I was too pushy and pissed him off and it ended badly him telling me harsh insults that were hurtful and saying that he felt I was relying on him too much and to go be happy on my own and that he has a girlfriend.

I left it for a week and just told him that i genuinely liked him and I am moving back and I want to take him out when I move back. He said sure. I texted him a couple days later trying to arrange a place and he told me no, that he thought i was being fake and he said stop trying.

I should have gone with the flow originally when he asked me out but I was confused on what he wanted so I hesitated and it seems once I moved he decided to write me off. When I told him I was moving back I think he liked that but maybe he got confused because he already wrote me off. What bugs me though is the harsh insults were unnecessary. I am totally cool with waiting a while to see him again in person until everything is calmed down and that way to let nature take its course. But I don't want to get hurt. He seemed way more open to everything before I moved and didn't seem that committed to his girlfriend, but now after I moved he is. I don't know if it's out of denial or true love and I should give up.

I don't want to give up, my gut says there is something here.

Thoughts? Thanks!

[MikeW]

Thoughts? Thanks!

OK. Seriously? You expect an 18yo to be, like, logical and consistent? About their feelings?

Well, I guess if you're 21 and horny, yeah, you would. But truly… just take his advice and move on.

Seriously.

If he had any interest in you at all, be sure, you'd know.

[Miles]

Masturbate

[Wade]

Masturbate

It's amazing how many problems this can solve.


...


but also create.

[freedom27]

very helpful....

[Miles]

very helpful....

You're welcome.

[TwisttheLeaf]

... he told me no
... and he said stop trying
... the harsh insults were unnecessary
... I don't want to get hurt

It's time to move on. You can do better.

[Virge]

Use this on the top of your head with rapid hard taps until you lose consciousness.



Do this exercise three times a day



Take up a new hobby



Try the newest petroleum based cologne



Or you can amputate your own leg and beat yourself in the nuts with it.

In all cases you'll come out with better results and more enjoyment than chasing a supposed straight and possibly bi male... Stick it out with him for 9 months and you can become a certified dramatologist.

[Nanaki]

So, about this guy you like. I see a few red flags here:

1. He is in a relationship with someone else.
2. He has said that he isn't interested at this time.
3. It sounds like he's still a little uncertain about his sexuality.

You are 22 and live in Los Angeles. There's gotta be lots of other single gay guys out there who'd make great dates and boyfriends, and who'd love to get with you. I think you should let this guy go.

Oh, and welcome to GS!

[Rareboy]

He's involved with someone else.

Back the fuck away.