When does a relationship fucking end already?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

My ex of two, or is it nearly three years now?, who ended up being my roommate until I fled the state.

Apparently I'm not the only person in the whole wide world who wanted to punch him in the face - however unlike me that other person actually did it.

Spoiler:

Its not that bad, I estimate three punches, jaw, cheek and eyebrow - I have taken worse on a good night. He'll live.

But what annoys me is that there is this implication that I'm supposed to 'do something' about it. I don't know what he expects me to do, get on a plane and fly there and hold his hand? Hire a hit man to take out the person who hit him?

After all that has gone on, especially in the last few months of his drug use and shit, why on earth would he email me of all people?

Why does it annoy me so? Why do I still care?

Bonus Question: Why the hell do I get involved with such people? :confused:

[LJay]

Bowyn, you know very well why he has contacted you. You must not torture yourself over your response or you will fall right back into the cycle. Get some help to get you through this. Do it now. This will take a great deal of strength but you must stay out of the situation. Get help.

[East]

He knows what buttons to push. You ended up in a co-dependent situation and you got out....

...if you want to hear the optimist view of it all (or even if you don't:eek::biggrin: )...I love turning things around so I am not a victim...thank him for giving you the opportunity to cut the ties and establish new boundaries. If he never presented you with this info...you would not know whether or not you have the will power to draw the line....and isn't it a lovely gesture for him to give you such a wonderful opportunity?

If you can be kind and firm...and have success on your new path...it is the best revenge there is...because it really isn't revenge at all...it is cutting the ties that should be cut. If you can go a step further...sincerely wish him well before you make the final cut.

[Borg69]

It isn't about you. It's his problem. Tell him You're sorry it happened and you wish him well, but don't get drug in further than that.

My family's way of side stepping any involvement is to reply with, "I'll pray for you."

[Rareboy]

Well since you aren't the one who punched him and didn't put a hit out on him, there isn't much you can do except tell him to report the incident and to put some ice on it.

And I love the idea of telling someone that you'll 'pray for them' in order to get them off your back.

BTW. I suspect that if he has the contacts for others...he probably wrote all of them about this as well.

[Bhp91126]

Bowie, darlin, why the hell is he still able to send you emails? Why do you still open them?

I think you need to perform an exorcism of this Ex. Block him, delete him, erase him, unfriend him wherever you can.

Repeat this mantra until it sticks:

Whether you come or go
Live or die
I don't care

Whether you threaten or beg
laugh or cry
I don't care

You can send me flowers
Cry for help
I won't care

(Verse 1 has served me well over the years, 2+3 I just made up)

[Hardheaded1]

I just think the word "ex" should mean something.

I'd use it once, and mean it, or not use it.

[Wolfpack]

Bowyn it sounds like he is no good for you at all, time to cut him out of your life altogether and move on. Concentrate on your own well being and happiness, and leave him to deal with his own sorry state of affairs on his own he is no longer your problem.

[Borg69]

Bowyn it sounds like he is no good for you at all, time to cut him out of your life altogether and move on. Concentrate on your own well being and happiness, and leave him to deal with his own sorry state of affairs on his own he is no longer your problem.

I don't think it necessarily has to be that harsh... Perhaps this guy just wanted to vent a little, and needed a cyber Noogie telling him that it was going to be ok. I believe Bowyn was the one that jumped to conclusions that he was expected to come back and DO something about it - but maybe all the ex really needed was a reassuring voice from someone compassionate enough to listen.

Instead of doing things for him and trying to fix the ex's life all Bowyn really needs to do is stand back and be an ear and a guide and let the Ex figure things out for himself for a change. "You fell down. You'll be ok. Get back up and try again. Good Luck!"

[Lexington]

A relationship ends when one - not both, just one - of the parties decides it's over. If he's sending e-mails like this, and you're responding, the relationship (in one form or another) is still ongoing. If you're not responding to them, the relationship is over.

Lex