I don't know if the guy I like is gay?

[TentoumuChu]

Your problem is nearly as me.
I met this guy in my French class, we didn't talk much to be honest. But we keep exchanging glances with each other and he smile a lot when he looks at me. I don't know whether he's gay or not, but I'm started developing an attraction on him (I denied this thought as first, but my friends keep telling me that I have changed a lot in my dressing, indicate that I must have developed something on him).
I want to get this clear, but I couldn't since I'm afraid that he's straight or everything is just my own fantasy.

Well, anyway, I think you should start to give him some hints and watch his reaction. Good luck mate! Wish all the best to you and don't be shy and get him to your side .
Let me know if anything happens .

[Jerry]

what do you mean?

sorry, but you amuse me, in good way of course lol

He seems to be a close friend of yours. So, what difference does it make if he is gay or not.
Labeling is politics, didn´t you know that?! And in your age, people are much too young for doing politics in friendships, so just go for it. Then you´ll see...in good and bad!

Be brave

[chrisdeme95]

I say just take a chance and ask him straight up. It's a risk yes but if you both are real good friends and he turns out he's not gay the only bad that would come out if asking him is that things would be awkward only for a little while

[reaper]

It sounds like he may be open to something but it's always hard to tell.

Have you asked him to hang out or anything? I'd do that and see if he wants to. Then maybe bring up the girl thing again and feel the situation out. Maybe you could tell him that you aren't really into girls and open up a conversation from their. (depending on his response of course)

[Cuddly]

I say just take a chance and ask him straight up. It's a risk yes but if you both are real good friends and he turns out he's not gay the only bad that would come out if asking him is that things would be awkward only for a little while

Or the terror of the label and realisation will make him deny it and stay closeted for years.
I wouldn't apply labels.
And I'd consider carefully if I'd risk the friendship, before ...

[Lexington]

Or the terror of the label and realisation will make him deny it and stay closeted for years.

It's damned silly, but I've met guys who go out to the "park" three times a week to drop to their knees, or to bend against a tree for a guy they've never met. And they not only don't think they're gay (or even bi), but they still think "gays" are some freakish "other" people. They manage to complete compartmentalize their excursions into something totally different. They probably couldn't explain it to you if you asked them to - trust me, I HAVE asked - but to them, it's different. It's...you know, guys doing stuff with guys. It's experimenting, or having fun. But it's NOT "gay".

To me, this whole thing is silly. I mean, sure, label yourself however you want, but the thing about "labels" is - it's just a shortcut for the rest of us. I just want to know if you're into guys. If you are, then yeah, I'm gonna consider you "gay" (or "bi", if you dig women, too). Because to me, and a large chunk of the world, that's dictionary definition. I'm not trying to force you into some sort of box by putting that label on you. I don't then assume you're effeminate or like show tunes or whatever other stereotype (positive or negative) you want to dredge up. I just want to know what team you're on, usually because I want to know if I'm in the running.

People don't argue against "labeling" in other fields. If a guy goes to all the home sporting events for a local team, I might say "Wow - you're quite the fan"...and nobody would say "Why do you have to put a label on him? Can't he just like the team?" Well, "fan" is sort of our term for "somebody who likes a sporting team". You can call your vehicle a "four-wheeled motorcycle with enclosed seating compartment", but most of the rest of us are just gonna call it a "car", you know?

But back to you. Yeah, some guys are going to be scared of the G-word, even if they ARE the G-word. And if you're in a homophobic environment, you're more likely to run into those sorts of guys. Which is why I suggest nudging things forward. If he puts a wall down, you can back off, laugh it off, and save face. If he doesn't put a wall down, you can perhaps keep nudging forward...without ever having to use the G-word.

Lex

[MikeW]

...It's...you know, guys doing stuff with guys. It's experimenting, or having fun. But it's NOT "gay".

To me, this whole thing is silly. I mean, sure, label yourself however you want, but the thing about "labels" is - it's just a shortcut for the rest of us. I just want to know if you're into guys. ...

So true! And by "into" all we really mean is, *willing and able to play sometimes* -- sheesh -- not like we're asking for a commitment or anything. THAT *WOULD* BE GAY!

LOL!!

Anyway, [MENTION=22417]david98[/MENTION] , I agree with Lex… Often guys, especially younger guys, aren't ready to "label" themselves anything and doing so just freaks them out. But, if he's touching you, return the favor and don't be afraid to take it a bit further. Then you wait and see if, then or some other time, he takes it a bit further himself. This way *no one is committing to anything verbal*. It's just fun, after all, right?

Sex can get very complicated. However, it can also be as simple as, "Man, are you as horny as I am? Want to do something about it together?" Can be a simple yes or no question -- and sometimes it needn't be *asked* in words at all. Just going with the energy.

N E Way, good luck -- and keep coming back to the forum!

[Iceblink]

You are trying to discover the orientation of another and yet you describe yourself as "a single curious man." It is usually best to work on discovering yourself before trying to discover the orientation of others. You want to know if he is interested in you, but how would he ever know that you are interested him? Closets can make things difficult. You are asking him questions trying to figure him out. Are you saying anything in your conversations to let him know something about you?

[JCasey]

Questions are often answered with a good back massage... give one to him, and then tell him its your turn. This will provide the opportunity to see his limits, and how he responds to your touch. Discuss a subject if it pops up.

[TwisttheLeaf]

Well you mentioned the girls bit. Could just bring that up again and when he says not interested act confused and ask what he's interested in. You could bring up being cool with gay people at that point and see if he opens up.

This. ^^

Could be his answer is "You", but you won't know until you ask.