Serious Thread. How long does sex last for you?

[Virge]

This got in my head after Londoner posted a thread with 22 interesting penis facts. One of the facts they gave was that the average sex act lasts 2 minutes and 50 seconds.

The fact that 2:50 is an average means there's a butt load of people screwing less than 2:50 minutes. We can assume that at least 90% of the people surveyed for the statistic were heterosexuals, right?

I've already done a mass email to gay friends with the Link Londoner gave and asking them about how long they do it. From running a summer B&B with mostly gay males as lodgers it's pretty hard not to make observations about how long most of them take doing it. Beds squeak, Headboards bang walls, butts get slapped, and lots of pretty loud conversation sometimes. No damned way gays are doing it on an average of less than three minutes.

So sit back and estimate your own average time at doing it. No need to exaggerate. Be honest. If you're in a relationship ask your partner then average out your estimate with his.

You can use the sackface anonymous option if you want to. If you do I'd appreciate it if you'd PM only to let me know you did so I can cull out any trolls.

Thanks.

[Virge]

I just got an email reply I want to share.

Two guys (28 and 33) in a relationship said it should be broken down to giving and receiving oral and anal.

They estimated
giving oral >> 15 minutes and 15 minutes.
anal penetration >> 20 and 40 minutes.

[TwisttheLeaf]

Ok... well the first question is how do you define "the sex act", yeah?

I mean, are we including foreplay? Oral sex? Or are we looking specifically at from the time someone sticks it in until they blow (presumably with no breaks or changing of "venue" along the way)?

[Lexington]

Wow - really hard to say. Most of my sexual encounters are something of a buffet. There's a lot of options, and I usually end up sampling this and that. I tend to want to switch things up every three or four minutes. If not the activity, then at least the positioning. So there's a lot of "now let's try this", "maybe we could 69 for a while", "do you want to top me now?", stuff like that. I've had encounters that lasted a couple of minutes, and ones that lasted three or four hours.

If you ran a stopwatch on all my sexual encounters, and averaged everything out....hm. Probably the bulk of it is kissing, groping, and manual. Then oral. Then anal (if we do that at all - it's not uncommon for me to skip it). Assuming we're looking at encounters where all three are present:

Making out: 20-25 minutes
Oral: 10-15 minutes
Anal: 10 minutes

This is a total guess. And I'm considering each orgasm to be an "encounter". It's not uncommon for me to get off really quickly into a session. But then we just chill for awhile, chat, maybe kiss or touch idly for awhile, and eventually I get horny again, and we start back up. But I'd consider that a separate session. Otherwise, that segment in between doesn't seem to fit into any of those three categories.

Lex

[Virge]

Ok... well the first question is how do you define "the sex act", yeah?

I mean, are we including foreplay? Oral sex? Or are we looking specifically at from the time someone sticks it in until they blow (presumably with no breaks or changing of "venue" along the way)?

Not foreplay. Just the time from the start of actual fucking or sucking, swiching up flip flopping etc to spooging.

Factoring in foreplay which can be two hours or better and what we call ante-foreplay be a whole afternoon would really screw things up. Also at least once a week I penetrate Jay while I get him off and never ejaculate so I can stay in him while we fall asleep spooning. I wouldn't count anything like that either. Just the act of sex from beginning to end

[meridannight]

yeah, 2min 50 sec, sounds ridiculous to me.

for me, i'd say the average would be between 20 and 30 minutes.

i think the shortest intercourse i ever had was still around 10 minutes. but i don't know for sure. probably one of the times right after high school qualifies as the shortest intercourse i ever had (not that i measured the time. it's just a guess here). i certainly don't remember ever having sex for less than 5 minutes, and less than 10 minutes is questionable. and i can count all my sexual partners i ever had. (i have, however, been so turned on by a guy that i had to take care of it and it only took me 3-4 of minutes. but that was still masturbation).

the longest would be somewhere over an hour. (but i do count everything under it from touching, kissing, rubbing, and oral, to anal. not just penetration alone. for me the sexual intercourse starts when we're both in bed working on each other's parts, in whichever way that is. but the penetration alone would probably net an average value of 20 min).

and i wouldn't necessarily differentiate between oral and anal when it comes to duration. my current sexual partner prefers it when i stop and restart oral multiple times (edging), for example. with him, i haven't noticed that there is any significant difference to how long it lasts whether oral or anal intercourse, and it's usually a mix of both anyway. it's not only oral, or only anal, usually.

[Rareboy]

wow.

20 minutes minimum......I've gone as long as an hour or two....(lost track or consciousness)

[meridannight]

i also did some quick digging of my own.

it appears that this result of ca 2 minutes has been reached by two researchers:

Almost half of all men finish sex within two minutes, reports the New Republic by way of Dr. Harry Fisch's new book, The New Naked: The Ultimate Sex Education for Grown-Ups.

source for above

by the way: Harry Fisch is

a board certified urologist at New York Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Medical College of Cornell University. He is one of the nation's leaders in the diagnosis and treatment of Men's health issues as well as sexuality and fertility problems in couples.

i'd figure that he has higher than average exposure to males who have problems with sex and genitalia. so, his average value doesn't necessarily reflect a neutral unbiased average for males.

and, wouldn't you know it, by Alfred Kinsey. i am not familiar with Fisch, but, of course, i am familiar with Kinsey.

Length of Coitus:

Males:
17.6% of males reported ejaculation less than 2 minutes after intromission
47.6% less than five minutes in coitus in first marriage
22.9% claimed to have lasted 10 or more minutes, (Table 324, p. 373 Kinsey Data, College Sample).

Kinsey source

then again, 17.6% of the male population doesn't exactly constitute an average. and why does the 47.6% come with a condition ''in first marriage''?

then, there are other average values that are above the two minute absurdity:

Research shows that the average man lasts about 14 minutes during intercourse

that's from menshealth.com
menshealth

they forgo listing their source for some unexplained reason.

then. webmd.com has something up on the topic:

There are men who ejaculate within a minute but say that they don't have premature ejaculation. And then on other end of spectrum, there are patients who are able to last for 20 minutes, and they say they do have premature ejaculation.

But a quick trigger is normal, says Kerner. "Men were wired to ejaculate quickly -- and stressful situations make them ejaculate even more quickly. It's been important to the human race. If guys took an hour to ejaculate, we'd be a much smaller planet."

i don't exactly agree with that deduction, but not gonna argue the point here.

webmd

then:

The average amount of time spent during sex will vary widely depending on who you
believe, even among credible sources. Some research cites a length of time between
3 and 10 minutes, others are anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour, and then there
are those who claim the timeframe is much lower, at around 2 minutes. The difficulty
in getting consistent information is that the time interval is not always clearly defined
(e.g. does foreplay count?), or that people have trouble remembering or being objective
about just how long things took. Plus, a societal average may not necessarily mean that
much in the end, even if it could be determined. Couples have different preferences
that work for them, and moods and circumstances may allow for more or less time
depending on the occasion.

from: source.b

in other words, these ''average'' values can't really be trusted that much. unless someone digs up an actual scientific research that isn't biased for sexual problems from the beginning, age, or other factors that might play into this. other than the Kinsey report, and the Kinsey report says only 17.6% men last less than 2 minutes. hardly the average then.

and, finally, what the hell:

optimum length of sex

They reported that one to two minutes in the sack was far 'too short' and three to seven minutes was barely 'adequate.' And contrary to popular fantasy, sleeping together for 10 to 30 minutes was judged as 'too long.'

10 to 30 minutes of sex is judged ''too long''? i know that article was printed back in 2010, and it's heterosexually-biased, but come on! most of sex i have is in the range of 30 minutes and longer. less than 20 minutes is a quickie for me. more than an hour is ideal.

i wanna take my time with my partner. and this goes both ways. i haven't had a guy complain yet that things are taking ''too long'', or ''hurry the fuck up!'', lol.

[Virge]

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [MENTION=21405]meridannight[/MENTION] YOU ARE TH" MAN!

THANKS for researching that and posting it all!

And as for these words from you..........

......."10 to 30 minutes of sex is judged ''too long''? i know that article was printed back in 2010, and it's heterosexually-biased, but come on! most of sex i have is in the range of 30 minutes and longer. less than 20 minutes is a quickie for me. more than an hour is ideal.

i wanna take my time with my partner. and this goes both ways. i haven't had a guy complain yet that things are taking ''too long'', or ''hurry the fuck up!'', lol."

......... I'm with you 100% on every word of that. I could see where quick sex would have benefits if you're strictly into quantity over quality of sex. But in a LT relationship or an intimate and honest fuck buddy situation there's all sorts of mutual benefits to making the sex as great as possible... and no one can make sex great in three or less minutes. .. at least in my limited experience.

When I get into it, it's not a race to the finish line for my "cookies", It's about my partner more than me. I don't want him to tell me enjoyed it. I want to see it in his face and in the way he moves. Big difference. Maybe I'm the odd one. I don't care if I am.

[East]

Well...were have 29 years of sex under our belts so it has changed and evolved as we have....

The longest I can remember is over 9 hours..describing it would be extremely xxxx rated...

We had alot of sex though...it is something that has never been an issue with us.

I am guessing that for the first 10 years...an average session would have been 30-45 minutes

Second 10 years...HOT SEX! Maybe 45 to 90 minutes...

Last 10 years...hard to describe in writing but we do the tantric thing and use alot of karma sutra stuff and also we both think sex is the key to combining our mind, body and soul into one...we work on getting every single part of our entire being to one complete orgasm...there is NOTHING like it and so glad we worked our way up to this point....and our sex lasts 1-3 hours now...2-3 times a week

I am 57...he is 50

One thing has remained the same though and is probably one of the keys to having long sessions...dominance and submission....and not the kind where you dress up and use toys/verbal/ect ect...dominance and submission is NOT S&M or B&D. Everything in nature has a dominant/submissive element...it is what happens ...and can only happen...when we get our head out of the way....

Bringing your partner to a state of complete submission is a skill and requires trust and it is a bare minimum of 30 minutes...the more trust the greater the experience.....relaxing every single muscle in his body and getting him to completely submit is the key...and the moment the submissive completely submits...he becomes the dominant and the dominant has to submit completely to go as long as he wants in order to reach his maximum pleasure.....

It is the perfect balance actually...